DraftKings partner with NFL Int’l Series; New York Jets fear sphincter abrasions

draftkings-nfl-international-seriesDaily fantasy sports operator DraftKings has inked a partnership with the National Football League’s International Series games in the UK.

On Friday, DraftKings announced it had signed a three-year exclusive deal enabling it to brand the hell out of the three games the NFL plays this season at London’s Wembley Stadium, starting with this weekend’s tilt between the New York Jets and the Miami Dolphins. The announcement comes as DraftKings prepares to launch its new UK-licensed site sometime in Q4.

As part of its deal, DraftKings’ ubiquitous TV adverts will air during Sky Sports broadcasts of NFL games. DraftKings will also host events outside Wembley prior to all three games, with additional events taking place this Saturday in London’s Trafalgar Square and in Regent Street on Oct. 24. The events will offer UK fans the chance to test out their American football skills in order to win prizes.

Friday’s announcement comes just days after DraftKings announced it had struck a marketing partnership with the NFL Players Association. DraftKings also has individual sponsorship deals with a dozen NFL teams, some of which allow DraftKings to operate branded ‘fantasy lounges’ within the teams’ stadiums. All of which only serves to underscore the NFL’s hugely hypocritical anti-betting stance, but whatever.

In addition to its UK expansion plans, the press release announcing DraftKings’ new NFL deal mentioned that the company plans to launch in additional markets in 2016, including Europe, Asia-Pacific and Latin America. Consumers in those markets are advised to disconnect their TVs now, just to be on the safe side.

NEW YORK JETS’ ENORMOUS ASSES MOCKED
The Jets are facing ridicule on both sides of the Atlantic over their UK trip, and for a change, the jeers are coming before they start playing. On Thursday, the New York Times reported the Jets were bringing along 350 rolls of US toilet paper on their UK trip, apparently because the players don’t like “the thinner version” of bog-roll prevalent in the UK.

Yes, in apparent tribute to those stereotypes of UK tourists packing their suitcases with English teabags before heading abroad – even to India – the pampered posteriors of the New York Jets won’t lower themselves to using UK toilet paper. The situation is even more comical given that the average UK diet contains virtually no fibre and thus it’s not uncommon for UK residents to go a month without a satisfactory bowel movement, yet they still somehow manage to get by with Tesco’s off-brand product. Apparently, the Jets’ big strong steroid-enhanced asses fear sphincter abrasions more than they fear concussions.