Lee Davy continues his confessions series with a look back on a time when his attitude very nearly cost him his job, and how he learned to change.
I can be a miserable twat.
The first time I decided to share my mind with the world was when I opened a blog on Bluefire Poker. I called it ‘God the Chingster Can Moan’ because people called me ‘Chingster’ and I had the propensity to complain about anything.
Each blog post was a complaint about an incident in my life. It seemed like a great idea at the time, and readers loved it. It’s not very advisable for your state of mind though. There isn’t much that I know in this world, but one thing I do know is this: if you want to be a miserable twat then complain a lot.
To be fair, it’s not really my fault. It’s in my genes. It’s woven into the very fabric of the society that I was raised in. If you are ever fortunate enough to have a cup of tea with my Mum and Dad, and should my Dad even open his mouth, then you will understand where I get this capacity to make Scrooge seem like Jim Carey.
There is a fine line between being miserable and being very busy. If you are really up against a deadline, then it’s unusual for you to be singing that song from Frozen, whilst banging away at the keyboard.
“Let it go, let it go!”
“If I let it go, who else is going to do this fucking work you stupid cartoon character!”
Breathe gently, and let’s continue.
I believe there was a time when I came perilously close to losing my position as the live tournament reporter, for the World Poker Tour (WPT), and my attitude was a big reason why I was nearly shown the door.
I would love to tell you that live reporting is a very rewarding job, and I am sure there are poker lovers out there who can say that, but I can’t. The job of the live reporter is to somehow bring you as much action as is humanly possible, from a tournament containing hundreds of players. You also have to make sure the chip counts are updated, spelling and grammar is correct, you don’t upset anyone, don’t share your opinion, remember to update the blinds, add the prize pool, and interview poker players in your spare time.
It’s bloody hard work.
The last thing you are thinking when watching Dan Colman embroiled in a war against Dan ‘Jungleman’ Cates, is learning about the hand. Instead, you are feverishly scribbling away on your notepad every single detail of said hand and then walking back to your seat to type it up – like those funny looking Olympic walkers. Once you have sent your little bit out to the world, you then get back out there seeking another moment of brilliance that you never have the chance to digest.
When you do this on your own, it tends to pull the face downward a little. When people talk to you about the normal boring shit that people pretend to pay attention to, and you don’t pay attention to it – it’s not because you are miserable, it’s because if you do pay attention to them the WPT coverage for said live event falls apart.
“Let it go, Let it go!”
Did your parents ever tell you that if you pulled a funny face often enough it would stick? Well, they were telling the truth. It does stick. After a while my work colleagues started to worry about me. I wasn’t mixing with them, wasn’t having fun – Christ I wasn’t even talking. I would arrive at the hotel and do nothing but write until I arrived back home.
You start worrying about your job. You start questioning whether you should be doing it. You start dreading the next tour. That way of being; that attitude – it rubs off on all areas of your life. Your wife feels it, your son feels it, and even those idiotic mentalists working for British Telecom feel it.
After reading ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People,’ by Dale Carnegie, things have started to change. I have been able to let it bloody go! Carnegie teaches you to smile. He also teaches you to stop criticizing, condemning and complaining.
After speaking about this with my wife she created a Bah Humbug jar. Each time one of us broke one of the three C’s we had to put a £1 into the jar. It’s been a miracle. Quite how a single jar can change your life is beyond comprehension, but that’s exactly what’s happening right now.
Think about the genius of it for a moment. If you cannot criticize, condemn or complain about anything, otherwise there is a painful act associated with it, then you stop doing those things. What do you think happens when you stop? There is no conflict. It’s completely removed from your life. If you then smile a lot more, and add in Carnegie’s other pieces of advice: such as being more interested in others (than yourself), and showing appreciation of others, then everything changes.
I get it now.
If I behave like a grumpy old fart, who has no time for anyone, then nobody will have time for me, and will behave like a grumpy old fart in my presence. Yet if you reverse that, and start to becoming happy, loving and interested in the well being of others, then that also happens to you.
You can still work your tits off and carry a smile. You can still work your tits off and be genuinely more interested in others, and show your appreciation of them. It really does make life easier to wade through.
So if you are a miserable old git, like I was, then you don’t have to be. You can change. In fact, I urge you to change, because if you don’t your life will feel constrained. You won’t get anywhere. People will pass you buy and you will drown in their exhaust fumes.
Incorporate these moves into your game today and feel the change.
1. Smile
2. Show a greater appreciation for others
3. Never complain, criticize or condemn
4. Show a genuine interest in other people
Now get to work!
