It took a while, but partypoker has reacted to the $25,000 buy-in PokerStars Player’s No-Limit Hold’em Championship by introducing one of their own called MILLIONS World.
I wish I had time to play online poker.
In my short time in the game, I have never seen as much value available online for the people who do.
And the cause?
I love it.
PokerStars will tell you that the recent resurgence of partypoker is a good thing for the game; that they welcome it, blah, blah, blah. However, I’m sure deep down they want to boil the fuckers in a slow cooker next to the rock-like lump of beef your mother bought from the guy down the pub wearing a glass eye.
And the feeling is mutual of that I am sure.
PokerStars is the kid in school dressed in the best Adidas trainers and Fred Perry shirt that got all the girls. It’s about time someone had the balls to stand up to them, and the way partypoker is going about it does bring a smile to my face.
Are partypoker Just Taking The Piss?
There are times when I picture Simon Trumper, Rob Yong, John Duthie, Tom Waters, Mike Sexton and the MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of ambassadors all getting smashed in Trickett’s Room.
“Lads,” says Waters, “How are we going to rip that Fred fucking Perry top from the back of PokerStars?”
“I know,” says Sexton. “Let’s copy everything they do. It will drive them to the nuthouse.”
I bet my collection of Laurel and Hardy VHS tapes that the next move will be for the Caribbean Poker Party to announce that it’s moving into the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas, and will take place sometime in January.
It’s hilarious watching this unfold from the sidelines.
Introducing partypoker LIVE MILLIONS World
When partypoker unzipped and began swinging the MILLIONS brand around the world like the weapon Gogo Yubari used in Kill Bill, PokerStars reacted by announcing the most significant $25,000 buy-in festival ever dared.
The $25,000 Player’s No-Limit Hold’em Championship would take place at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. They would give away $8m worth of free seats, and hand the winner of the event an additional $1m in prize money.
Kazoos erupted Dr Seuss style throughout the multi-verse, and the team shot a smug looking glance in the direction of Waters and co.
How would they react?
I should have known.
The 2018 Caribbean Poker Party (CPP), taking place at the Baha Mar resort at the Bahamas, 19-25 May, will include a $10m Guaranteed, $25,000 buy-in Super High Roller.
partypoker LIVE need 400-entrants to hit the bullseye. partypoker President, John Duthie, believes the event dubbed MILLIONS World will become one of the most sought-after titles in world poker, and he hopes a complete nobody wins it.
How a Complete Nobody Wins MILLIONS World
partypoker will be sending 100+ online qualifiers to the Bahamas to compete in MILLIONS World. The online route opens up for business in April. Packages are worth $32,500 per head, and you can qualify for as low as $22.
And the MILLIONS World isn’t the only $10m GTD event at the 2018 CPP. The $5,300 buy-in Main Event is also under pressure to hit the same target or else face the sticky out tongues of PokerStars employees.
The first winner of a MILLIONS World package will receive an additional $10,000 of CPP buy-ins.
The schedule is under wraps, but there is the talk of a $51,000 Super High Roller. MILLIONS World takes place 9-12 November. There will be 2 x Day 1’s, a Day 2 and final Day 3.
Most importantly, the event happens two months before PokerStars have to take the stage.
So what next in this beautiful tit-for-tat?
Is Boris Becker going to marry Kristen Bicknell so they can become the new Igor and Liv?
Is Sam Trickett going to get into an online spat with Doug Polk and then block him?
If they miss their next guarantee, will they Take 2?
Man, I wish I had time to play online poker.