FIFA, and sports in general, really aren’t having the best of times right now. If the undercover bookies’ being introduced into cricket weren’t bad enough it looks like we’re returning to the dark ages in terms of crowd violence at football grounds. Anyone wanting to gamble on the outcome of the venue for the next two World Cups should listen up though.
This week was supposed to be the week when the great and good of FIFA gathered in Cardiff to discuss the introduction of goal-line technology after the debacle that took place in South Africa over the summer, but now this. Who’d have thought that a regime under Sepp Blatter would be accused of corruption, collusion, and all the rest, eh?
Of the two bids involved in the suspected collusion scandal neither were ever very likely to get the World Cup. Even if Spain/Portugal and Qatar are found guilty of colluding it’s surely a damning indictment on the two bids. Spain/Portugal are already third favourites behind the English and Russian bids, whereas Qatar doesn’t have any stadiums. What were they going to show the bid committee?
Assuming that Blatter does in fact get some money from the proceeds of this collusion ring what could he do with the money I wonder? Well here’s a few suggestions for you Mr Blatter:
First off sort out your forename – what exactly do you hope to be achieving with a name that sounds as though it is half way between the man with a Technicolor dreamcoat and what happens to a cut if you don’t clean it for a while. Personally I think the man from Switzerland more embodies the latter of the two as he’s been in the post long enough for this to have onset a while ago. Although, would it be at all surprising if he turned up to the next FIFA meeting with a multi-coloured coat on? Didn’t think so!
One thing Septic Blatter won’t have thought about is to set up MMA battles between the fans of rival clubs who think that a good way to follow your team is to have a punch up with the opposition. The format would consist of each team’s supporters putting forward a team of ten fighters who would battle it out in the ring that was constructed using the money from the collusion. Of course the event will be screened live on the new TV channel Blatter invested money into: FIFA TV. Each fighter wouldn’t be paid for taking part and would purely be spared jail time.
The final idea, already mentioned above, is FIFA TV. As an idea this could take on any direction it wants to. Obviously most would be expecting to see some football on the channel and maybe it would advertise itself as this before the watershed. The big money for Sepp would be made from a lucrative reality TV deal inside Fifa HQ. Now that Big Brother no longer exists it would be perfect. Live odds flashing up on the screen as well as live Friday night evictions with Sepp himself hosting. This would truly be the jewel in Fifa’s crown.