Folks will argue that footballers are born entertainers. That Eric Cantona’s controversy was all part of the enigma. Zinedine Zidane’s decision to “head” out of the game was better than any goal he ever scored. There’s one man on a mission to blast these guys out of the water with his unique brand of firework infused gamblin’ drinkin’ and carryin’ on mixed in with a dose of pornography. That man, who also finds the time for a kick about, is Man City’s Italian striker Mario Balotelli.
Balotelli has been hitting the headlines since his move to Manchester £24million for a number of different reasons. Days after arriving, the 20-year-old crashed his Audi R8 in the city. When questioned by a police officer as to why he was carrying £5,000 in cash his reply: “Because I am rich.”
Mario may well have been guilty of throwing darts at a youth player earlier this year but you get the picture that he’s a nice guy deep down. The Italian showed his love for gambling earlier this year by winning £25,000 at Manchester’s 235 casino. What did he do next? Handed over £1,000 to a tramp sitting outside.
It didn’t stop there. When in school did you always yearn for Hulk Hogan to come to your rescue when being bullied? One City fan that was forced out of school by a bully was driven there by Super Mario and asked to identify the offender. He made the two shake hands and was then on his way again.
In between there have been the reports of the striker having his car towed away 27 times amounting to around £10,000 in fines. His disdain for authority doesn’t end there. Two nights before the City’s biggest game of the season away at United Balotelli sealed his place in the upper echelons of the daredevil footballer. Most people would think twice about letting off fireworks at all, let alone in their house. The result of trying to fire them out of a bathroom window meant the house was alight and Mario had to run back in to collect a suitcase full of cash. Typically he played a blinder two days later.
Ahead of tonight’s game, the papers have been full of the fact that Mario has been meeting up with a 32FF porn star while his girlfriend is away in Italy. Whilst we don’t advocate the man doing the dirty, he isn’t married or engaged. Judge for yourself whether his latest escapade is a fruitful one by watching City’s encounter with Villarreal.
The precocious talent the Italian possesses means his career will be a long one in the game. Whoever wanted to watch Mr Boring though? Give us a player that hangs out with porn stars, visits casinos and shoots fireworks out of his bathroom any day. Super Mario we salute you and invite you in as an honorary member of the carryin’ on club.