Heading into the record books

Ryujiro Ueda
Ryujiro Ueda
Apparently the Matrix producers saw no talent...

Premier League clubs are breaking scoring records as if goals are an addictive drug. Criticism is falling at the feet of the league’s defenders so what do they have in their defence? One Japanese is fighting their corner like no other and meaning that far-from being derided, this weird species of footballer may even get recognized in their local ASDA.

The advent of YouTube has meant the Internet regularly going haywire at the prospect of a ridiculous goal hitting the sports news pages. Heading was this weekend’s treat as the world record was set for the second time in a month. Centre back Ryujiro Ueda’s header from all of 58 metres bounced on the slippery turf and left the goalie looking like a floundering Manatee complete with trademark groan. It came after Jone Samuelsen set the bar at 57m just a month ago.

Heading it in from the half-way line is one of those things that makes you an instant hero amongst the fans and an enemy of the sports books after that one guy had put a bet on it happening. The 100+ yard touchdown pass is always a killer. Some numbskull shooting it in from his own end is just as bad. They’re in a different filing cabinet to the half way line header. Hell they get their own office.

What might join it in the most exciting office sport built? Something that we’ve always wanted to see someone try is to score a touchdown in the NFL whilst holding the ball between their feet. Even though it might well be against the rules the fact that someone tried it should be available as a novelty bet. There’s also a case to be had for a golfer achieving a hole-in-one on a par five. In true ridiculous style it would be Tiger Woods with the ball would rebounding off three trees and Stevo Williams inflated head before entering the hole.

The halfway line header is deservedly out on its own at the moment and soccer remains a team sport where the ridiculous can happen on a regular basis. Look out this weekend for defenders attempting headers from their own penalty area. If it’s gone in from the halfway line, defensive confidence will be higher than ever. We also hope this starts off a vicious feud between Samuelsen and Ueda for the title of world’s best header. See which impresses you the most below. We’re going with Ueda and not just for the distance.

Ueda:

Samuelsen: