The headline “Fan arrested after throwing hot dog at Tiger Woods” sounds like something straight out of the Onion sports news department. All down to the part that this actually happened the past weekend just gone as Tiger attempts to put further gloss on his crown as golf’s chief.
Caught on camera, the latest bizarre episode captured the fiend as he attempted to turn the PGA tour event into a sausage-fest – did nobody tell him what Vijay Singh did when Annika Sorenstam last tried to intervene?! He made it onto Tiger’s green whilst he was putting, launched the bun and weiner as one and it…flew straight into the ground like a poorly constructed paper-airplane.
In the aftermath one man was able to walk off with a jumbo weiner in hand attempting to illustrate what the guy who threw the hotdog spends the majority of his spare time doing. We’d have been far more of a fan of this guy if he’d used his $3.95 to buy something a little more inventive – namely some confetti shaped as V-signs. He would have then thrown said confetti over Steve “Wanker” Williams to congratulate him on his new marriage to Adam Scott. It’s not like the wanker would notice – he loves that attention after all.
To finish it off there were unsubstantiated reports that Elin Nordgren was seen wheeling a hot-dog stand around the course later in the day. No wonder Tiger was off his game!
In other sports news, an English rugby player decided to round off an apology of a weekend by being hammered and jumping into the sea – like you do. The English RFU fined 20-year-old Mani Tuilagi £3,000 after he vaulted from a ferry in Auckland harbor as it headed to the docks.
Tuilagi confessed, “I’m really sorry. It was a silly thing to do and I apologise to everybody for any inconvenience caused.” This was obviously before he added that he and the lads had been watching Titanic and thought it would be cool to re-enact that scene from the front of the boat. Too bad for the English side that they encountered the iceberg that was France’s rugby side on Saturday morning. Otherwise we’d still be talking all about Wayne Rooney.