Manny Pacquiao’s power is natural and he wipes his butt like a human

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Manny kept punching, but Floyd's tickets wouldn't fall.

A Florida businessman has been charged with running a cockfighting operation out of his truck repair shop. Aldo Parra is facing 34 felony charges, one for each bird that had to be euthanized following the bust, but considering what happened to Jose Luis Ochoa, Parra got off easy. In addition to the birds, police also seized performance enhancing drugs that Parra allegedly gave the birds to increase their strength and stamina.

 

Speaking of steroids, boxer Manny Pacquiao has addressed the much hyped claim by Floyd Mayweather Jr. that the Filipino fighter relies on ‘power pellets’ to earn his ring victories. Responding to a fan question at the Las Vegas press conference for his upcoming fight against Shane Mosley, Pacquiao declared “You have to believe me that my power is natural. I never used any medicine because my power is natural. I am strong.”

Strong, but non inhumanly strong. Bernard ‘The Executioner’ Hopkins recently provided On The Ropes Boxing Radio with the startling news that “Pacquiao’s human in case anybody forgot. I believe that he wipes his butt the same way we do.” We’re sure we speak for Manny when we say we’re grateful that Bernard’s knowledge of other fighters’ butt-wiping techniques is based on theory rather than clinical observation.

Speaking of toilet paper, ‘Money’ Mayweather keeps posting new Twitter pics of his Las Vegas sportsbook betting slips. If we’re to believe Mayweather’s selective presentation, he has yet to lose a bet on basketball. Ever. See, he’s undefeated in the ring, so it only makes sense that he’d be undefeated in everything else. Which is why the world will likely never see the Mayweather v. Pacquiao bout, unless Floyd’s given the option of allowing HBO to broadcast only the rounds that he wins.