3D hockey and assault with a deadly waffle

3d-hockey-assault-waffleEver hear the expression ‘flattened like a pancake?” That’s because pancakes are, um, flat. A waffle, on the other hand, has all sorts of ridges and divots. So you could say that a waffle is like a 3D pancake. Hold on, we’re actually going somewhere with this…

The last matchup between the National Hockey League’s Toronto Maple Leafs and the Montreal Canadiens was special because it occurred just 24 hours following the death of legendary NHL coach Pat Burns, who oversaw both teams during his storied career. The next time these two Original Six teams square off (Saturday night) will also be special, as it will be the first ever 3D hockey broadcast on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

For Leafs fans, the innovation/gimmick will be of mixed value once they discover that their team sucks just as badly in three dimensions as they do in two. After starting the season on a thoroughly unexpected four-game winning streak, the Griefs have fallen back to earth/ice to occupy their familiar cellar-dweller status in the Northeast Division.

But while Leafs fans are an inexplicably patient and forgiving lot, typically demanding very little of their team beyond showing up with their laces tied, one fan has had enough. Following Thursday’s defeat at the hands of the Philadelphia Flyers, said fan pulled out a bag of Eggo waffles and began winging the aerodynamic breakfast discuses at the players.

According to the National Post’s Bruce Arthur, an eyewitness said the irate fan “chucked [the waffles] with overhanded force and authority and all at once … A couple of the waffles broke free in mid-air and flew quite majestically and further than the ones that stayed bunched together.” Leafs forward Colby Armstrong spoke for his team when he asked “Who brings waffles to a hockey game?” Sadly, no one had the heart to inform Colby that the sorry display of shinny his team put on that night did not even technically qualify as hockey. (Follow Bruce Arthur on Twitter @Bruce_Arthur.)

Still, even if you hate hockey and/or Leafs, it’ll be worth tuning in Saturday night in all its 3D splendor to see whether either team’s goalies have to dodge more Pop-Tarts than pucks.