Did you get yours?
By now, invitations have gone out to the select few individuals fortunate enough to have been invited to the CalvinAyre.com Fifth Anniversary shindig on May 23. The get-together is a dual celebration for site founder Calvin Ayre (pictured), who, assuming he survives the evening, turns 54 years old two days later.
Everyone who received an invitation and had the intestinal fortitude to RSVP will have already been informed of the secret location in Vancouver where this exclusive bash is going down. For the rest of you, a few intrepid CalvinAyre.com staffers will endeavor to remain sober just long enough to scribble down a few details and capture some video footage so that everyone else can get a hint of what they were missing.
A couple days before our festivities kick off, late night television icon David Letterman is set to air his final show. In tribute to Dave’s inimitable brand of humor, we present this version of his signature Top Ten list.
TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD AT A CALVINAYRE.COM PARTY
10. For the last time, has anyone seen my pants?
9. I feel like Snow White with all these dwarves running around.
8. So is it still liquor in the front and poker in the rear or the other way around this time?
7. Just out of curiosity, what are the symptoms of a stroke?
6. Seriously, if pole-vaulting is in the Olympics, why not pole-dancing?
5. I promised myself that this time I was going to make it all the way down the red carpet before vomiting.
4. No, I said I’m really enjoying this DEE-jay. DEE-jay.
3. Hey, look… Norbert Teufelberger’s here.
2. I don’t want to read this story on CalvinAyre.com, but …
And the number one thing overheard at CalvinAyre.com parties is…
1. Get fucking drunk!