S. Carolina gambling bill; Chinese sex game; cyber stalkers and machete bandits

South Carolina, a state in which the Education Lottery is the only sanctioned form of gambling, might be changing its non-wicked ways if two Democrats have anything to say about it. Reps. Boyd Brown (D-Fairfield) and Bakari Sellers (D-Bamberg) want to hold a referendum on whether to amend the state’s constitution to permit casinos and sports betting, but not video poker. (Sadly, there’s also no proposal to offer these services online, but South Carolina’s a gambling virgin, so the Reps are trying to do this slow and gentle.) The bill the pair have drafted will be introduced next week, but with the state’s powerful Southern Baptist cohorts already opposed to the idea and both legislative houses controlled by vocally anti-gambling Republicans, this bill is probably DOA. Still, the mere fact that the two Dems included the sports betting issue shows that state-level US politicians are swinging for the fences. One of these days, one of them is going to connect.

machetesChinese parents have their lead-lined knickers in a twist over the latest inappropriate fad connecting the nation’s youth. According to the Shangai Daily, kids are gaga over a racy card game in which the loser must perform a sex act (determined by whatever lewd illustration is depicted on the losing card). This being the 21st century, tech-savvy teens are playing online via webcam. Frankly, we think these parents should sleep easy, safe in the knowledge that the digital viruses these kids catch won’t require a dose of antibiotics. Speaking from experience, we’d have much preferred spending an afternoon restoring our hard drive to letting that doctor stick that fucking swab up our jimmy.

Speaking of gross indignities to our nether regions, online gambling received a thoroughly unnecessary kick to the goolies the other day courtesy of a British psychologist. According to the University of Bedfordshire’s Dr. Emma Stone, social media sites like Facebook are turning women into cyber stalkers. Stone told the Daily Mail that unlike the real world, where stalkers are overwhelmingly male, some 35% of online stalkers are of ‘the gentler sex.’ Stone explains that Facebook “removes the aspect of physical fear. Women who would not be abe to overpower men physically can have a go at them online.” Fair assumption, but Stone goes on to compare the female compulsion to stalk ex-lovers to “the lure of online gambling.” Fucking hell… In this modern age, how can anyone (let alone someone claiming to hold a medical license) compare sociopathic behavior like cyber stalking with logging on to a betting site and putting a few quid down on a match? Does that mean ‘the lure of Netflix’ is also something to fear? We’re sorry, we can’t continue this discussion… We just finished buying something off iTunes and now we’re so ashamed of ourselves…

Finally, a Ladbrokes betting shop in Banbury was robbed by three men Wednesday night. Before the thuggish trio took their ill-gotten gains and fled in the direction of a nearby housing estate, one of the robbers threatened shop staff with a machete. Fortunately, none of the Ladbrokes staff were physically harmed, but it got us thinking… Does anybody know where Charlie Sheen and his two ‘goddesses’ were on Wednesday night?