Zimbabwe accuses top footie exec of match fixing

Zimbabwe-Match-FixingDictators really hate losing. It goes all the way back to 1936 when Hitler stormed out of the Olympic stadium after a really fast black guy named Jesse Owens proved a better sprinter than all those blond, blue-eyed Aryan guys. More recently, Kim Jong Il gave his North Korea’s national football team a public dressing down after they failed to bring home the World Cup trophy.

Now Zimbabwe (ruled by octogenarian despot Robert Mugabe) has accused their top footie exec Henrietta Rushwaya of corruption and match-fixing after the national team failed to score a goal in two matches during an Asian tour last year. If she’s found guilty, we hope they give her an appropriate punishment – like forcing her to continue living in Zimbabwe. Read more.