Lee Davy sits down with the Twitch star Dylan Hortin to discuss his downswing, how it’s affecting him emotionally, and how Twitch plays a role in his ability just to walk away and take the break he needs.
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Having a successful Twitch channel is great.
And then, things go tits up.
Then what do you do?
You have a loyal group of subscribers regularly looking forward to your content. You have a rhythm to maintain; you need to practice what you preach. And yet you can’t win a flip to save your life; you are losing each time you sit down to play and to top it all off you a few wise guys rip you off.
And that’s where Dylan Hortin is right now.
You tweeted that the ONE DROP High Roller was making you feel bitter, expand on that?
“I turned on the ONE DROP High Roller to watch the best players in the world, and they are going at it. I was hoping to glean something from it. But from all the hands I saw I knew I would do the same thing here and there. Fedor Holz just ran really hot and coolered everyone, and he admitted that in the post-event interview, and I was bitter because I don’t run like that.”
What plans do you have to change that mindset, because thinking that way can’t be good for you?
“It’s not good for me. I tried to focus on the technical aspects of the game and do my best to control what I can control. It’s hard to keep it logical and objective when you are in a rut. I am always trying to improve. How I get there, I don’t know. I will continue to watch the better players and practise and think about the game a lot.”
Are you under more pressure because of your Twitch Channel?
“A little bit I guess. I wasn’t excited about doing Twitch to start with, but ultimately it will make me better. I am very self-critical. If other people are also constructive and critical, it can help me improve. That’s how I look at it. Fedor did it for a little bit and then turned it off. I have friends who don’t understand why I do what I do.”
Who or what is the devil in your poker narrative?
“In the last two years, I have had a few bad financial things that have happened to me not related to poker. It’s had a negative impact on my life in general. I have also grown a lot, smarter and less naive. I will learn from my mistakes, but it’s created a lot more stress and pressure on me to do better in the last few months, and I haven’t so I am struggling with that.”
What do you see when you look at the poker world?
“For the most part, good things and happy thoughts. I have met a lot of my best friends through poker. I wouldn’t look at poker on the whole in a negative light, but it has some bad spots. I was blind to it at first; naive and innocent and wanting to see the good in people and I got burned.”
Back to Fedor {Holz} and he always looks happy, and that creates a Law of Attraction type vibe that sends more happiness his way. Do you believe in that mumbo-jumbo?
“To some extent. Someone’s demeanour, i.e., positive and happy means people will want to be around them, but I can’t always flip a switch and be happy when I am sad. It’s something I am working on, trying to keep a positive attitude and hopefully it will turn around sooner rather than later.”
Is the need to win money a problem right now?
“I am kind of getting to that point. I want something constant and solid. I don’t have the foundation I did earlier in my career. I need to risk losing everything just to get back to where I was, and it’s extremely frustrating. It’s also the only thing I know.”
How have your friends been throughout this period?
“There are a lot of acquaintances that don’t know the whole story because I haven’t told a lot of people the whole thing, but my close friends have been very supportive and it’s nice to have them there.”
Is this your rock bottom?
“I have been in similar situations, but this is my metaphorical rock bottom.”
How does the story end for you?
“For me in poker, I have a lot of aspirations. I love this game. I won’t ever quit. I want to win a bracelet. For several years I could travel whenever I wanted and took time off to spend with family and friends. I miss that freedom. I want to take a month off and backpack and things like that.”
Do you talk to other people about your situation?
“Nobody wants to hear your bad beat stories so you have to bottle it in a lot, but there is a lot of empathy out there with people going through similar situations. I empathise with people, reach out and encourage. I need strength myself so I like to give it out when I can.”
How important is it to get lucky and win the money at the right time, as well as learning to keep it?
“I was talking to my friend about how I appreciate the variance of tournament poker more than I used to. It’s so sick. It’s all about timing; sometimes you have more of yourself in a tournament, less in this one, run badly in this spot than you do in that spot. There is a huge spectrum, and your net worth is nowhere near your ability as a poker player. I appreciate that a lot more.”
If I gave you 10,000 hrs to try and get out of this mess, what would you spend them working on?
“Every time I watch High Rollers I know my wheels turn the same way. I’m not sure if it’s a technical game issue. I think I need to take some time off. I have thought about this for months. Twitch can be exhausting. I want to come back and be fully ready to go hard at it every day, and I don’t have that in me right now. I need to recuperate physically, get on a better sleep schedule, eat better and work out, something that’s been missing in my life for years.”
