POKER

Calling the Clock: SCOOP Ends, WSOP Begins, and Raymer Returns

TAGs: Calling the Clock, Editorial

Another weekly installment of poker news including the biggest news stories from the Spring Championships of Online Poker, the beginning of the 46th Annual World Series of Poker, and a return to the Poker Players Alliance for Greg Raymer.

The 46th Annual World Series of Poker (WSOP) has kicked off with Events 1 & 2. The dog won’t get fed, the wife won’t get laid, and the kids won’t be played with. It’s the biggest tournament series in the world, and it’s all you will here about from now until the middle of July.

Calling the Clock: SCOOP Ends, WSOP Begins, and Raymer ReturnsIt’s just a shame that the first two events started with a whimper. Everyone is moaning about the absence of PokerNews, Ludovic Lacay somehow managed to get into the chip counts of Event #2 despite being in Europe, and attendance for the first two events is down 27% and 39% respectively.

But who gives a fuck. This weekend The Colossus hits town. The Rio will develop a sinkhole as most of America turns up to play in an event that is surely going to smash the world record for a live tournament to smithereens.

I will be in it.

I will win it.

You heard it here first.

A Russian Nightmare, and a Russian Wet Dream

Who is going to hog the headlines this year? Back in 2008 that headline hogger was a young Russian poker player called Ivan Demidov. He finished second in the $10,000 WSOP Main Event, before finishing third in the £10,000 WSOPE Main Event.

According to Hendon Mob Demidov picked up $6.5m for his placements in those two events. We all know that Hendon Mob statistics are not a true account of take home pay. Most players are backed, or exchange pieces, so the true profit is not always that accurate.

Fortunately, during an interview with All-In Magazine, Demidov came clean on the amount he actually won. You wouldn’t Adam & Eve it. The PokerStars Team Pro won nothing. That’s right, a big fat zero after his Russian backer decided to keep every single cent.

One assumes the unnamed Russian is a right hard bastard. Demidov will only say it was a ‘dark tale.’

Not everything in the Russian poker world is scary as fuck. Online poker site Pokerdom have fallen upon a cracking idea to attract nubile young men to their site – hire three of the country’s most beautiful women, and ask them to take their clothes off.

Svetlana Bilyalova, Aleksandra Markina, and Aiza Dolmatova have been hired to partake in a classic game of Strip Poker, and in a free roll no less. All you have to do is move to Russia, register an account, enter the freeroll and grab a packet of Kleenex.

I’ve already booked my flight.

Raymer, Ronaldo and Robots

Greg Raymer is back.

Don’t worry, he isn’t the new sponsored pro of Pokerdom. Instead, the former WSOP World Champion has been welcomed back into the bosom of the Poker Players Alliance (PPA).

Fossilman stepped away from his involvement with the PPA in 2013, shortly after being arrested in connection with a prostitution sting in North Carolina. The man did wrong, he has suffered as a consequence, and now he is back on the board of directors.

One man who could get away with a starring role in a game of strip poker is Cristiano Ronaldo. The reigning World Footballer of the Year, and man who likes to be snapped in his tighty whities, has signed to be an ambassador for PokerStars.

Ronaldo joins his slightly chunkier namesake, Neymar Jr, Rafael Nadal, and Fatima Moreira de Melo as a member of Team SportsStars. The addition of Michael Phelps would add the icing to that particular cake.

Let’s hope for Ronaldo’s sake that he doesn’t start his online poker playing career at the Heads-Up Sit n Go (HUSNG) tables, after it was revealed that Stars had given the green light to a piece of voice activated recognition software that helped an online grinder by the name of ’Skier_5’ earn a ton of money.

He continues to earn even more.

Nothing is changing.

The robots will eventually win the war.

SCOOP, The Poker Lab and Bwin Business

It’s going to take some time for the machines to beat man. They will get there, but in the meantime let’s wallow in the glory of some of the greatest poker players in the history of our game.

The Spring Championships of Online Poker (SCOOP) is the biggest reason to stay in your bedroom since you discovered masturbation. Three names jump out at me. Not in terms of my wank bank, but for the outstanding performances in one of the best online poker series in the world.

Calvin Anderson became the most successful SCOOP player of all-time when he captured his sixth title, Mustapha Kanit added the SCOOP Main Event High to the Full Tilt Online Poker Series (FTOPS) he won earlier this year, and Jason Mercier won three titles on his way to an overall leaderboard victory.

One person-watching SCOOP eagerly was the Global Poker Index (GPI) chief Alex Dreyfus. After the success of his Global Poker Masters Twitch adventure, Dreyfus decided to invest in a new TV studio, specially designed to bring a new TV experience to the poker community.

The final weekend of SCOOP would be the breeding ground for GPI’s new poker lab. Laura Cornelius was drafted in to front the show, and Neil Channing was dragged away from the racetrack to assist. The results were promising, Dreyfus believes it will get even better, and he plans to launch more TV studios in other parts of the world.

Finally, we end with some Bwin.Party Digital Entertainment news. Partypoker network skin WPTPoker.com closed. I didn’t know anyone even played on it. Either way, it makes sense, when you consider that the business is about to be bought and broken into a million pieces.

That’s why the inaugural partypoker Grand Prix Million at Dusk till Dawn (DTD) will be the one and only partypoker Grand Prix Million. It cost Rob Yong a pretty penny. He missed the $1m guarantee by $275,000, but it was nice to see a grassroots player taking home the $100,000 first prize. Congrats to Antonius Samuel for the biggest score of his life. Now if you want to tip Mr. Yong he could do with it right about now.

Time, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Someone has just called the clock.

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