What the top five really need this January


premier-league-clubsThe transfer window is now well and truly open and it’s the time of the year when other sports getting onto the sports news pages is out of the question. It’s also a time when the online sports betting sites go into overdrive in offering odds on where certain players might end up in January.

After the last window closed in September, there’s been speculation as to who might move where come the New Year. We already saw the Wayne Rooney saga dominate the sports news agenda for much of the season, and this month will be no different.

The January transfer window usually flatters to deceive though.

Gone are the days when Chelsea would go out and spend money for the sake of it on players that wouldn’t ever come to much. In are the days when Man City and Tottenham are the only clubs bucking the trend amongst the top five and outlaying some of their billions on a new pair of legs.

Amongst the top five teams in the Premier League, what does each club really need?

Currently top are an unbeaten Manchester United side that is extremely unlikely to make a major outlay on ant player in the window. They’ve already bought a new keeper in the shape of Swede Anders Lindegaard (could he be Isildur1?), but in order to be successful for another 20 years there’s only one thing that should be on their list.

Now that Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Gary Neville et al are all in the twilight of their careers, as well as manager Sir Alex Ferguson, the gift of eternal youth would be better than anything else. Whether or not this actually exists is another matter, but if the Glazers want even more return on their investment looking around for it might not be a bad idea.

Second-place right now are Manchester City, who are like the kid everyone loves to hate at school. They have all the best gadgets and toys but all that money never seems to be able to buy the ability to win. Edin Dzeko could be the guy to get all the pieces assembled but he’s likely to be in the periphery until Carlos Tevez tantrums his way back to Argentina.

As far as Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger goes, his youth policy should lead him to sign only one player – the two-year-old son of Sergio “Kun” Aguero and Diego Maradona’s daughter. Already a YouTube sensation, the youngster would likely break into the first team at the age of ten and three quarters if Wenger had his way.

Fourth position is occupied by arguably the most entertaining side in the division, Tottenham Hotspur. Now we’ve all seen that ‘arry Redknapp ain’t no f***ing wheeler dealer, but get your money on him grabbing himself a box of hooky LCD TVs, half a tonne of Brylcreem, and a David Beckham to boot.

The side currently at the foot of the quintet is Chelsea, who from the outside look as though wholesale changes are needed. Anything from a new high-end Malaria cure for Didier Drogba to a new set of eyebrows for Carlo Ancelotti could be useful, but it’s on the field where they need some new players. The bench is currently occupied by the unknowns that former-manager Jose Mourinho would have had out on season-long loans. Ancelotti’s playing them though, which could in the end be his downfall.