Giant-balled Jacksonville casino boat captain tackles NFL over photo usage

Everyone reading this (or the most recent issue of Playboy) already knows that the National Football League has a stick up its ass over the issue of gambling. Despite gambling being one of the prime factors that allowed football to usurp baseball as America’s Game, the No Fun League doesn’t tolerate any connection to bettors. Except, of course, in certain designated places, like Nevada or the NBC broadcast booth.

jacksonville-casino-boat-nflSo you can well imagine the NFL bigwigs’ fury at the realization that Jacks Or Better — a casino boat sailing out of Mayport, Florida – was displaying a photograph of Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback David Garrard on its website to promote the boat’s (legal once in international waters) onboard sportsbook. Jacks Or Better president Mark Slotkin claims to have found the photo on the internet, but felt no need to seek permission for its use from the league, the team or Garrard. Quite the contrary – Slotkin thinks all three should be grateful for the publicity he’s given them. You’re welcome.

According to the Florida Times Union, when the NFL’s lawyers insisted Slotkin comply, the contrary casino captain stopped playing with his enormous testicles long enough to fire off an email stating: “We are not prepared to strike our colors just because a giant machine like the NFL comes down on us for spurious and superficial reasons.”

Believe it or not, the NFL isn’t the only sports league that Jacks Or Better is currently battling on the high seas. Major League Baseball is also firing broadsides at Slotkin over his use of a photo of a Florida Marlins pitcher. Slotkin insists that his combative stance is “not about rabble-rousing. It’s about our rights.” Despite even Jacks Or Better’s own attorneys telling Slotkin that he’s walking the plank on this one, Slotkin isn’t backing down. “I guess I just don’t like to be pushed around … If I’m going to be proven wrong, they will have to prove me wrong in court.”

Like we said, enormous testicles.