POKER

Hats off to Shannon Elizabeth, especially if she hosts poker nights

TAGs: perez hilton, shannon elizabeth

A bust worth mounting

It seems that Perez Hilton has attempted to drag the good name of Shannon Elizabeth through the mud and I feel duty bound to defend her, if only because if anyone should be dragging Shannon Elizabeth through any mud it should be me.

A poster on Perez’s gossip site wrote that Elizabeth was hosting poker nights at her house in LA saying, “she’s just coming in and out and collecting money from people and taking an illegal rake for the house, and “she’s so busted apparently that she has to rip poker players off with her D-List status and rob us blind at the poker tables by raking way too much.” Miaow.

For the record I, unlike some lucky dogs, have never met Ms Elizabeth, but I am a great admirer of her work, namely those scenes in American Pie – oh, and those pages in Playboy, which brought her worldwide renown and a lifetime supply of tissues from those very grateful people at Kleenex.

But as well as being a celebrity hottie, Elizabeth is also a regular on the poker circuit. She has cashed in various World Series of Poker events, reached the semi-finals of NBC’s National Heads-Up Poker Championship three years ago, and will be representing Lebanon in the World Team Poker event this year. All of which means there are brains to match the booty.

To be honest, I’m always slightly suspicious of any girls who is good at poker because by default they are good liars and, worse still, can work out if you’re up to no good quicker than you can say, “it wasn’t me”. On the plus side, all of the deceit required to make a good poker player also makes for unashamed deviancy in the bedroom. So it’s a fair trade-off.

The point is that Elizabeth is a great ambassador for poker because she brings glamour to a game largely played by fat men with bad breath. Poker is becoming more mainstream but not enough for the liking of online gaming companies, who are having to pull out all the stops to prevent numbers from continuing to dwindle. It’s the likes of Shannon who make it more appealing. Then again, she’d make colonic irrigation seem appealing.

The point about the Perez website’s accusations is that, firstly, they’ve been denied, and considering the fair Elizabeth was at the World Series at the time she was supposed to be hosting poker nights then she has a pretty good alibi. But secondly, if she has been hosting poker games, then fair play to her? Just because the Californian authorities have still not got their heads up their own arses when it comes to getting online poker off the ground, why should everyone else suffer?

Anyway, what’s wrong with home poker nights? I went to one on Saturday night as it happens and wondered why I don’t do it more often. And Shannon Elizabeth was nowhere in sight. If she were hosting poker games anywhere near me, I’d be there like a shot. So, whichever way you slice it, she deserves respect, and some sort of commendation for services to poker and mankind, or a statue. That bust is worth mounting.

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