“I’ve got a pocket full of Lincoln green, I’m gonna put it in the roulette machine,” I sang at the top of my voice as Penitent ran away with the first leg of the Spring Double. “Oi, stop singing,” shouted a drunken Irishman who had just pissed himself. So, I did.
At the time of writing, Inclement Freud had delayed the golf in Orlando for another day. Annoyingly Kevin Na is right up there with Ernie Els, a player I have wasted my time and money on for far too many years. Can he win? Na. If only Bart Bryant were leading the way instead, I could do a really great joke about Bart and Ernie.
A good weekend for the Tote, as one punter not only wins the Scoop 6 Bonus Race to bump his winnings up by another £230k but another one manages to win £100k on the Super7 (although a seven-fold would have paid a lot more – don’t tell the Tote). Good time to sell now, one thinks. That’s the news section out of the way.
Life is back in full swing. A good week on the betting front apart from the tired and jaded golf system I’ve been using for, oh about three weeks now. Time for a new system, that isn’t jaded or tired.
Monday
Although still lagged by the jet, I managed to crawl out of bed at a reasonable 10 am (how does the wife get up so early?). I had big plans; head to the bookies, win enough to cover the cost of the holiday – take another holiday. So, after bashing out a few articles I sloped off to the cashpoint and withdrew £250.
It’s amazing what the modern punter can get on a Monday in a betting shop these days; four daytime dog meetings, three race meetings, plus a sprint from Japan and all the other South African and virtual stuff. It’s blanket gambling coverage. Do people have time to talk anymore? Flashing lights everywhere. Must concentrate.
So, after 30 minutes with the Racing Post I had a £20 each-way treble on the opening races from Kelso, Plumpton and Wolverhampton; a quickfire way to riches. One winner and two places later put me just over £90 up – not a bad start. I really fancied the favourite in the next at Kelso and I was right – adding another £187.50 to my growing wad bag.
A bit of an up and down run of events for the next couple of hours tested my resolve (especially after losing £150 in the roulette machine) but I eventually crawled out of the shop at around 4:30 with a healthy £700 profit (mainly thanks to a 7/2 winner in the 4:10). “That’s why punting is great,” I said to a dog that was tied up outside a charity shop. “Woof,” he said. Cold lagers awaited.
Tuesday
A day of rest simply as I have work to do. I end up meeting a friend for lunch, work is forgotten, alcohol is drunk, casino is visited. Amazingly, I end up in a taxi at 1am heading home with £300 more than I left the house with.
Wednesday
A nice £50 accumulator on Villa, Blackburn, City and Chelsea goes awry and so I get my golf bets on for the weekend. Enough said.
Thursday and Friday
I spend these two days working. Had a good week so far. Work = employment.
Saturday
A day of betting and drinking. This is England. Draw bias is becoming harder to prove at Doncaster with the winners of the Spring Mile and the Lincoln coming from different ends. But I was confident about Penitent and it had been the subject of a bit of a gamble. Worked well. I sang, Irishmen growled and I went back to the pub happy as Larry Lamb.
Quick question: does Moules Marinière have cream in it? This debate has raged between me, the wife and the cat since an episode of Masterchef last week. Answers on a postcard please.
This week’s golf: Back Charl Schwartzel, Rickie Fowler and Martin Kaymer in Houston. Good night.
Running total after Week 9: £1185
Added to the ante-post portfolio bets:
Kieron Fallon – to win the Jockey Championship 7/2
What’s left in the antepost locker?
Horse Racing
Big Fella Thanks – Grand National 20/1
Our Vic– Grand National 66/1
Black Apalachi– Grand National 16/1
Co-ordinated Cut – The Derby 33/1
Football
Chelsea – Premier League 6/4
Bordeaux – Champions League 33/1
Barcelona – Champions League 3/1
Cardiff – Championship 25/1
Aston Villa – FA Cup 9/1
Lionel Messi – Champions League Topscorer 9/1
Didier Drogba – Premier League Top Scorer 6/1
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1
Snooker
Ding Junhui – World Championship 12/1
Stephen Maguire – World Championship 14/1
Golf
Nick Watney – The Masters 50/1
