It all started to go wrong after the third drink
Morning campers, I’ve spent a lot of time in casinos this week – both online and offline. I’m trying to perfect the old roulette double up system, but I’m not sure I can afford it! I’ve visited the Rendezvous and the Victoria in London and played online at VC and Stan James.
For those not quite understanding my driftwood, the old doubley wubbly goes something like this: Select a colour – red or black. It doesn’t matter which. I always go red (statistically in my mind it comes up 65% of the time). Place the smallest bet that the table rules allow (e.g. £1). If black comes up, then double the stake on the next spin, keep doubling until the ball lands on red. Once you have won, then return to the beginning of the cycle and place a £1 bet again. Keep this going ad infinitum and allegedly you can’t fail to make a profit.
For some reason it always goes wrong for me. Being allowed to drink at the tables. That’s part of it. The other is self control. So, actually I think I know the reason. Anyway, if you try this system online you should be able to break the bank reasonably early in your life as the spins come round a lot quicker than in the offline casinos.
Tuesday
A lumpy treble on Fulham, Man City and Wigan almost sets the second fifth of the working week off like a massive fiery rocket made of sparkly things. Instead, Stoke ruin the party and I drown my sorrows in a doubley wubbly casino nightmare.
Wednesday
Throws up the most unlikely football results of the season so far. Thank God I didn’t get involved. Spent the day Winking instead (for those confused, please refer to last week’s column. My Wink bank is almost dry. I don’t think I have the heart for bingo. I’m going to try something else.
Wednesday is golf getting ready day. I love betting on golf. It’s what I do. It in some way defines me. Probably as a mug. What is a man to do? Probably something different to what this man is doing. I’ve always had one vice that I just cannot kick (if you don’t count the other 12 – I can’t seem to punch them).
Golf betting is to me what extreme fishing is to Robson Green. The problem with golf betting is that it comes around every week. Without fai
l. It occasionally takes a break at Christmas, but then it’s straight back at you. In your face. Demanding a piece of you. So, on an average Wednesday night/Thursday morning – you have got yourself in position. You are armed, bets cocked ready to shoot, to explode, carpet bomb a small island; come Sunday evening the mortgage will be paid off, the cat will get a new food bowl, I’ll buy some beer, get new jeans, eat and best of all; the wife will finally understand that gambling has a purpose.
But then it happens, the tournament begins, the usual problems appear: by Saturday morning, the golfer that you backed last week at 120 is 5 shots clear. You cry. You ponder the 3 on Betfair. You take it. He slips away. You cry again. Anyway, this week I have peppered again: at Pebble Beach, Dustybin Johnson, J Holmes, Snedeker, Garcia and Kevin Na. In the Avantha, I’ve covered myself in Andersson Hed glory along with Darren Clarke and Richie Ramsey (Street). Combined Johnson, Holmes, Hed and Ramsey in each-way life-changing doubles. My life never changes.
Come Sunday evening I’ll begin planning for the following week. Oh, it’s the Accenture Matchplay, begins a day earlier this week… I have a good feeling about JM Singh…
Thursday
I get a tip for Pipe’s seven-year-old in the first at Huntingdon. Sona Sasta duly obliges (by a neck) and I trouser £220 profit. I have a catch-up day in the pub with some old mates on Friday and so end up losing £150 at brag – more on this next week.
Running total after week 4: £-177
Added to the ante-post portfolio bets:
Grand National – Big Fella Thanks 20/1
David Nicholson Mares – Whiteoak 12/1
Already advised bets:
Horseracing
Go Native – Champion Hurdle 8/1
Long Run – RSA 6/1
Twist Magic – Champion Chase 12/1
Captain Cee Bee – The Arkle 8/1
Poquelin – Ryanair Chase 6/1
Kauto Star – Gold Cup 11/8
Shinrock Paddy – Albert Bartlett Novices 12/1
Co-ordinated Cut – The Derby 33/1
Twice Over – Dubai World Cup 7/1 – Come on Henry.
Football
Chelsea – Premier League 6/4
Bordeaux – Champions League 33/1
Barcelona – Champions League 3/1
Cardiff – Championship 25/1
Aston Villa – FA Cup 9/1
Lionel Messi – Champions League Topscorer 9/1
Didier Drogba – Premier League Top Scorer 6/1
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1
Snooker
Ding Junhui – World Championship 12/1
Stephen Maguire – World Championship 14/1
To read Week 3’s entry click here.
