POKER

Tony G Banks on Regular Losses to Daniel Negreanu in UKIP Leadership Campaign

TAGs: Lee Davy, Tony G, UKIP

Tony G, member of European Parliament for Lithuania, and former God of poker, has taken the tough decision to turn his back on home country to run for the position as leader of the United Kingdom Independent Party, showing once again that there is no sacrifice he won’t suffer in his bid to make this planet great.

Have you ever wondered what goes on inside Tony G’s head?

Back in 2013, there was a lot of conflict inside the mind that makes Rubik Cube’s shake when he looks at them. He was an ambassador for partypoker, travelling around the globe, eating professional poker players for breakfast.

Tony G Banks on Regular Losses to Daniel Negreanu in UKIP Leadership CampaignHe could have continued keeping up with the Ivey’s. He was a multi-millionaire, he owned successful gambling businesses, media outlets, and even a Disneyland of sorts for Eastern Europeans minus the sun.

But there was an ache eating away at him from the inside.

With all the young whippersnappers voting to join Raising For Effective Giving (REG) so they could change the world, Tony G realised what the itch was in a Eureka moment while taking a bath in almond milk.

He would make the ultimate sacrifice to become the greatest effective altruist in poker. Tony G would step down from his poker throne and move into politics where he could change the world by becoming one of their most effective leaders.

He hit the ground running when he became the first person to represent Lithuania in the European Parliament. And it’s during his soiree’s to Brussels and Strasbourg where first bumped into the United Kingdom Independent Party Leader (UKIP) Nigel Farage.

Farage and his UKIP party were amongst the primary pushers for the LEAVE Brexit vote.

He won.

What did Farage do in his moment of victory?

He quit.

What?

Farage resigned, stating that, ‘He wanted his life back.’

What kind of sacrifice is that?

Tony G cuts ties with his entire poker family to try and change the world, and Farage gets the opportunity to do that and runs to the hills.

On your bike Farage.

And he could have been living in luxury had he taken on the £1m bet that Tony G publicly offered him on the Brexit vote. The G-Meister General was willing to put a million-pound on the line that the UK voters would not vote to Brexit.

Farage dodged that one as well.

Who Will Replace Farage?

At the moment, the front runners are Suzanne Evans, Paul Nuttall, Steven Woolfe, and wait for it….Tony G.

Yes, Tony G and his political powerhouse of a team have dug up ancient manuscripts to reveal that there is nothing to stop the Lithuanian MEP from applying to take on the position of UKIP leader.

Earlier, in the week, Tony G wrote an impassioned email to the UKIP admissions officer Roger Bird. In the email, he outlined the reasons why he is the right man to steer the UKIP ship towards the shores of a United Europe after hundreds of thousands of Brits, are now wondering why on earth they ever voted to leave in the first place.

It wasn’t a decision that Tony G took lightly. He loves his country and even donates his MEP salary to charitable causes in his homeland. Here is a man who believes in making Lithuania great again to such a degree that he was willing to sacrifice his legacy as one of the greatest players in poker to sit in cavernous empty rooms listening to boring shit.

The Plan

Anyone who has ever seen Tony G rip a top pro a new one knows he is a man with a plan.

Here are the finer points of the plan emailed to Mr Bird.

– Tony G shows that he has empathy with the UK’s fear of losing money to Eastern European countries because during his time as a poker player he regularly lost money to the Romanian Daniel Negreanu.

“This aligns me stoically to the UKIP membership concerned with the impact of Eastern Europeans on their incomes.” Wrote G.

– His half Lithuanian/Australian heritage means he understands the immigration system better than anyone, especially the Australian point system that UKIP supporters favour.

– He will donate his MEP salary to the NHS.

– He is very similar to Farage when it comes to leaving when you are winning. Tony G used to do this quite often during his poker playing days.

– He is a pro-European candidate.

“I want to represent the UKIP voters who have changed their mind.” Wrote G.

– Foreign leaders in the UK work.

“England can thrive under foreign-particularly Australian leadership.” Writes G while pointing out the sterling efforts of the Australian Trevor Bayliss in his role as England cricket coach.

Will UKIP voters make a wise choice and select Tony G to become their next leader, and stop people like Daniel Negreanu taking all of our benefits?

It seems so after the online sportsbook Tonybet.com have made him the 2/1 favourite (although I only think it’s fair to tell you that he is the only runner in the field…and….he owns the joint).

If for whatever reason Tony G fails in his bid to become the next UKIP leader, and I do not see why he would – then I urge him to write a similar email to the English Football Association (FA) because I think he would make an excellent manager of the English national football team.

He even has Olympic experience.

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