LeBron trades it all in for the Women

The World Cup may not be over yet, and the MLB season may still be in full swing, but it hasn’t stopped transfer and trade talk dominating the sport news pages on both sides of the oversized pond. Who will be going where though? What would be the best transfers to be seen in the history of sport? What follows is five trades that we would like to see happen:

Mike Tyson makes UFC comeback

Now Brock Lesnar may well be slaying all-comers right now, but how would he deal with an angry Iron Mike, hell bent on a final, final, final payday? The octagon may well be alien to Tyson, and god knows what the feminist groups would make of this, but if he adjusts what would stop the former World Champion kicking some ass? It’ll be a sport that Mike feels he can really get his teeth into.

Kevin Pietersen to become new DH for the Red Sox

Big Papi’s on the wane, and Terry Francona really needs to uncover that hidden gem somewhere in the world. That’s why the head coach immerses himself in cricket, and somehow manages to persuade the Englafrican KP to swap England for Boston. Pietersen arrives with diamond earrings in full view ready to meet his new buddies. KP breaks all records for an Englishman and in a rather weird turn of events, a whole generation of Bostonians identify KP’s South African tones as what the British accent now sounds like. Silly Americans!

Peter Crouch to the NBA

Really, who wouldn’t want to see this? Fresh from the World Cup, (and I mean really fresh. Was he even there past the group stage? ) and after the Only Fools and Horses come-back tour, Crouch declares his eligibility for the 2011 NBA draft, wiling away his hours playing pick-up with the Bulls’ Luol Deng and Barack Obama. This is a pre-cursor to the Chicago club moving for the un-fancied Brit, who wins the 2012 NBA Championship with the Bulls, an Olympic Gold medal, and sandwiched in between…going out in the group stages of Euro 2012 with the soccer team. You didn’t think it would be all plain sailing, did ya?

Lebron James to WNBA

Well you’ve got to cover all eventualities, and this article would be nothing without a bit of LeBron speculation.

Michael Schumacher to join the Jockey’s Club

After trying his hand at a Formula One comeback, Schuey decides enough’s enough. He’s not winning every race and making everyone else look like idiots, so ups and leaves. The German hasn’t even been allowed to cause mass pile-ups, even allowing some blokes on push bikes to overshadow him in these stakes. This is when he decides riding a horse is his new calling. Starts the season by winning his first ride, then all hell breaks loose. Michael’s a furlong behind the leading horse, throws his whip at the leading jockey and subsequently wins the race. Disqualification follows, to which his reaction is “what iz wrong wiv bending ze rules? Bernie and Max uzed to lurve it!”