They’re from Europe, they can’t win!

TAGs: 2010 world cup

mandela_world_cupSleepless nights for two days? Moping around the house like the time your girlfriend suggested you go on a break? Sound familiar? Hardy souls even got their fill of sporting action watching a Scot fight his way to Wimbledon’s semi-finals, and saw the curse of Gillette strike yet again. But like that ex-girlfriend, who gives you “one last chance,” Sepp Blatter’s given us back his competition, for the weekend at least.

What have the pampered stars of world soccer been doing on their days off though? Most have been keeping themselves to themselves, but some of them have been doing quite the opposite.

Dutch playmaker Wesley Sneijder, who takes on Brazil this afternoon, donned a dress and trotted around giving his best rendition of ‘I’m a little Dutch girl.’ Teammate Robin van Persie reacted angrily to this pointing out ‘where are hish clogsh?’ And to think the orange camp was trouble-free until the days off!

Their opponents take to field as deserved favourites, however you can’t help but think they haven’t really been tested yet. You can see it now. Dunga’s unflattering side go a goal down, and Holland shut up shop at the back. Robinho’s pacifier, which was last seen knocking around the Eastlands dressing room, rears its ugly head. Playmaker Kaka rediscovers the form that has made him such a revelation at the Bernabeu, and late goalkeeping replacement Gomes reminds us of the early days at Spurs.

Outsiders Ghana have taken to the old practice of using horse placenta for healing injuries sustained by their star players. After the German octopus that mysteriously picks Germany to win every time, Raymond Domenech being an international manager, and Blatter making a u-turn on goal-line technology, whatever next? Maybe Fabio Capello should have borrowed the Hogwart’s choosing hat, or even employed Harry Potter as Wayne Rooney’s strike partner, complete with working Nimbus 3000 broomstick.

Previous winners Uruguay take on Africa’s final hope, but arguments have broken out between journalists backing the South American minnows, the hacks confusing the country with calling each other homosexuals.

Elsewhere, the war of words has already begun between the Germans and Argentinians. It all started after German captain Philipp Lahm opened a book on how far Diego Maradona has gone with playmaker Leo Messi. It angered the Argentina coach that the Germans had only included a hug, kiss on the cheek, and kiss with the tongues. Have the Germans not seen the highlights from ‘86? He’s incredibly good with his hands you know Philipp.

In all seriousness though this game could quite possibly provide the winner. Both have their defensives frailties, meaning we could be provided with quite a special game of soccer on Saturday afternoon. The young counter-attacking prowess Germans, against what can only be described as a powerhouse when it clicks. It’s amazing that the little Argentinian in charge has been able to keep them all in check.

Spain will think they have a say, but wait a minute. Aren’t they from Europe? They couldn’t possibly win it? What you’re saying is the continent with the best football leagues, might actually provide a winner of the biggest soccer tournament in the world?! Get outta here! It’s not like anyone good plays for them anyway. That Xavi couldn’t pass to save his life, and David Villa! Has he ever even scored a goal?

What will the Brazilians public if Dunga returns home with the trophy though? Could it be the first time that a World Cup winning side return home to boos and jeers, and are made to live in one of Rio’s favelas? That would be quite the fall from grace.


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