Who’s Paying For My Hangover?

Drink up ladies, it's all covered
Drink up ladies, it's all covered

Loto Quebec recently had to foot the bill for thousands of problem gamblers to receive therapy. The deal was reached in an out of court settlement, but the implications of this case extend far beyond the obvious. Read more.

The lawyers came to an agreement that it wasn’t the gambling machines themselves that were responsible for the addictions. So the question is what exactly was? Perhaps the answers those questions aren’t as obvious.

Here’s what I’m thinking, I like to drink beer, so do a lot of people, I could round up a few hundred, especially if I got some Canadians, and launch a class action suit against, say, Molson Canadian beer company. They should pay for my therapy and by that I mean all the affects from my good time boozing. All those times I got drunk and woke up in my car on top off the bag lady, that’s their fault. And the times when you end up taking a piss in the pool after a night of beer drinking, that’s on them, the beer company. They should pay for my therapy, they should pay for my hangover treatment. Of course my therapy couldn’t just include the AA meetings I go to once a weak, I want the full package. That means, I want those Sunday full body massages that are oh so necessary for a bad hangover comped. How else am I supposed to make it to work on Monday? Someone has to be responsible for my alcohol abuse and the beer company is as good as any.

While I’m at it, I might as well charging the unlucky girls I have sex with a fee, for that sex addiction. Any guy caught cheating on his girlfriend should receive an indemnity from both his girl and his side chick, it’s their fault you’re addicted to getting your rocks off! All of the those expensive, messy divorces, they’ll be a thing of the past, with a sex addiction, you’ll probably break even.

Things might get out of hand if that was actually how the world worked. Interestingly enough, the result of this settlement may actually change the way gambling addiction is viewed, simply because the onus has now shifted. No longer can the machines be blamed. Progress, I’d say.