Punter’s week: Vote Cameron for 3D racing

... and here comes Blue Rum sneaking up on the rails...
... and here comes Blue Rum sneaking up on the rails...

Everybody hurts, locker.

First James, hopefully next will be young David… The Camerons are becoming unstuck. Avatar was rightly usurped at the Oscars after being humiliated at the BAFTAs. Perhaps Mr Cameron should come to the rescue of the Racing for Change panel. He could create a whole new world of blue jockeys riding horses with extra pointy noses.

It has got to be better than the awful animated virtual racing that is served up everywhere. This could work, loads of jockeys strapped into those comfy coffins appearing on our screens in loin cloths. I’d bet on it.

Bad golf week, as my new trusty golf betting system went tits. At least ‘Ready’ Freddie Jacobson went close, but ready is not steady and he couldn’t quite get into contention. Don’t give up hope with the system just yet though as Nick Watney finished a close second at last year’s CA championship (although Y.E. Yang did have an absolute shocker…). Camilo Villegas seems to be bang in form, so expect him to vie for favouritism with last year’s winner Phil Mickelson.

This week has been rather up and down rather like a drunken Grand Old Duke of York (although I haven’t had 10,000 men, but I do know an ex-girlfriend that has gone close). Expensive week in the home department: first off, I had to renew the tax on the car – how much??!! Then the first bills of spring start to arrive and the realisation that working from home during the coldest winter ever was a bad idea.

But after a rather strange week of drinking, gambling, drinking and a rare spot of eating I finished the week around £500 up. That’s a monkey in my pocket, as George Bush once said to the Indian Prime Minister.

A quiet night in with a few Sit ‘n’ Go tournaments. I managed to finish in the cash places on a couple of occasions to make light of what is still a strange phenomenon – the online poker community.

A day of ‘in and out’ – e.g. in one pub then out, then in another. The best thing about pubs is that there is often a bookies somewhere nearby and they only add to the ins and the outs. After mixing lager with machine-based roulette, spring onion crisps with dogs and horses and gin and tonics with interesting arguments about international friendlies, I ended up face down on my bed with a pocketful of cash and a dribble on my pillow.

A day of getting it ready. The new golf system is poised and ready to pounce. I even doubled the four chaps up with Darren Clarke over in Kuala Lumpur. Oh, Darren.

As the Vapors sang – I’m waiting for the weekend to come.

A night out in Leicester Square in the Empire gambling and drinking in what is becoming a very busy part of town… red 5 all night long backed up with a lumpy even money bet on red proved to be neither costly nor life changing. Cab home with about the same amount as I arrived.

Saturday and Sunday
Drinking with ‘mates’. ‘Nuff said.

The ante-post book is looking rather good – I feel I have a burgeoning career ahead…Big Fella Thanks is now as short as 8/1 for the Grand National after his impressive display over the weekend. Captain Cee Bee is a general 3/1 for the Arkle, Go Native 10/3 for the Champion Hurdle, Peddlars Cross 8/1 for the Neptune, Long Run 9/4 for the RSA, Poquelin 7/2 for the Ryanair, Shinrock Paddy 6/1 for the Albert Bartlett, Kauto Star is as short as 4/6 after Denman unseated McCoy – although old Whiteoak is going to spend most afternoons having a long face whilst propping up the bar after being retired early.

I want to be retired. I want to be adored too. Also, Aston Villa are as short as 7/2 for the FA Cup, Drogba is 9/4 to be top scorer in the league, Bordeaux have shortened to 16/1 for the Champions League with Barcelona hovering around the 11/4 mark. I hope you were on.

Running total after Week 7: £-140

Added to the ante-post portfolio bets:
Blackstairmountain – Supreme Novices Hurdle 12/1

Already advised bets:

Peddlars Cross – Neptune Novices 12/1
Go Native – Champion Hurdle 8/1
Long Run – RSA 6/1
Twist Magic – Champion Chase 12/1
Captain Cee Bee – The Arkle 8/1
Poquelin – Ryanair Chase 6/1
Kauto Star – Gold Cup 11/8
Shinrock Paddy – Albert Bartlett Novices 12/1
Whiteoak – David Nicholson Mares 12/1
Big Fella Thanks – Grand National 20/1
Our Vic 66/1 – Grand National
Black Apalachi 16/1 – Grand National

Co-ordinated Cut – The Derby 33/1
Twice Over – Dubai World Cup 7/1 – Come on Henry.


Chelsea – Premier League 6/4
Bordeaux – Champions League 33/1
Barcelona – Champions League 3/1
Cardiff – Championship 25/1
Aston Villa – FA Cup 9/1
Lionel Messi – Champions League Topscorer 9/1
Didier Drogba – Premier League Top Scorer 6/1
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1

Ding Junhui – World Championship 12/1
Stephen Maguire – World Championship 14/1

Nick Watney – The US Masters 50/1

To read Week 6’s entry click here.