PokerStars release details of five new MEGASTACK and Festivals events, PokerNewsReport hears of a $10m Guaranteed Online High Roller Series on the grapevine, and someone wins $3.3m on a $1.25 spin of an online slot machine.
I haven’t shaved in over a month. I am growing far too much body hair. Not in one place, but everywhere. Armpits, belly button, head, up the nose and those two places that will make you think less of me if I mention them.
It’s time to snap a few shoelaces and get out of the house.
Back when all my pieces were in the right order on my chessboard poker was a big part of my life. It was the one place where alcohol didn’t play the starring role. The only place I sought over the incoherent ramblings of a man with blood in his knickers. Gold. The opportunity to slip a few crisp 50s into my wife’s handbag when she wasn’t looking.
A Balrog is stirring in my belly and the PokerStars Player’s No-Limit Hold’em Championship (PSPC) is responsible for the burn. When Peter Brankin beat 751 entrants to win the PokerStars MEGASTACK London event at the Hippodrome for £9,758 and a $30,000 Platinum Pass, the Resistance kicked my cerebellum in the balls.
“Why didn’t you win that?” The devil whispered in my ear.
Luckily, I get another chance.
PokerStars has announced five more live events, in and around the price range of a part-time writer, part-time dreamer, and if I’m reading Stephen Bartley’s blog post right, there are seven Platinum Passes ready to be picked from a pocket or two.
PokerStars MEGASTACK Events
The PokerStars MEGASTACK is such a huge event they capitalised it. For £170/€170 you get the opportunity to sit behind 50,000 chips before a card lands on the felt. It’s a working-class dream.
Here are the new events:
PokerStars MEGASTACK Dublin – Apr 19-22
PokerStars MEGASTACK London – Apr 27-29
PokerStars MEGASTACK Gujan-Mestras – Jun 27 – Jul 1
The Dublin event takes place at the Regency. For the Gujan-Mestras event, you have to travel to the Tolkien fantasy land sounding Bay of Arcachon in France. The one Platinum Pass up for grabs is in the Hippodrome. The West End casino spot that doesn’t contain a single hippo (I took my daughter there once, and she was well pissed off).
The Dublin event carries a €50k guarantee and €40k in London.
The €1,000 buy-in PokerStars Festival’s are a little too pricey for this scumbag, but if you’re struggling like I am, don’t fret, you can qualify online, and worry about the broken toilet chain another time.
PokerStars Festival Marbella promises to be a cracker Jun 4 – 10. Ignacio Lopez de Maturana won the event last year, beating 949 entrants. PokerStars always pull in the numbers in Spain. PokerStars Festival Lille takes place at the Casino Barriere Jul 16-22. Both events include a €2,200 High Roller and €330 Poker Cup. Six Platinum Passes dangle like gold teeth in a dead man’s mouth.
What are you waiting for?
$10m Online High Roller Series
From one end of the social hierarchy to the other, and PokerStars have decided the last $10m Guaranteed Online High Roller was such a grand piano they are rolling it out once again.
The series runs March 18 – 26.
The key differences?
There are more events, and the minimum price point has dropped to $530.
Stars haven’t released the schedule yet, so take what I’m saying with a pinch of coke. I stole the information from Alan Graham over at PokerNewsReport who swears blind there will be 26 events (5 more than last time), and five of them will have a $530 buy-in.
There are two $10,300 buy-in events carrying $1m Guarantees. The games seem to be either No-Limit Hold’em or Pot Limit Omaha with all the old favourite formats making an appearance.
You can expect at least one Platinum Pass to be on sale.
If any of my information is wrong, then blame Alan, it has nothing to do with me.
Lucky Git Wins $3.3m on a $1 Spin of a Slot Machine.
I can’t write War on Peace on this one because if I spend too much time thinking about it, I am likely to quit writing and take up life as a bedpan emptier.
A PokerStars customer known as zafujohn from the UK has just had a $1.25 spin on the Mega Fortune slot machine at PokerStars Casino and won $3, 311,443.03.
It’s the second time someone has won over a million bucks on the PokerStars Casino slots in the past week, and this is the largest ever online payout issued by the Stars Group.
“I thought, no this can’t be real.” Said the winner.
I’m thinking the same thing right now about life in general, mate.