Over in North America people must think that when it comes to soccer us Brits take it a bit too seriously. Chanting and gesturing at the opposition fans is fine, right? Fighting, on the other hand, isn’t. Camping out at a players’ house that has decided he wants to leave is slightly deranged. Donning balaclavas and threatening violence is downright lunacy. It wouldn’t be the same without this passion though.
Balaclavas and death threats could be deemed as a bit too far. Threatening to transfer to your cross-city rivals is not a laughing matter though. Playing football and shagging prostitutes is what Wayne Rooney does best. Partaking in these activities can be done all over the world our Wayne likes Manchester though. Don’t start complaining about those death threats then.
Ending up at City may not be the most dangerous thing Rooney could do. Reportedly being offered a contract of £260,000 a week it should give Wayne enough spare change to sort out some hired muscle. Hiring out ex-UFC fighters could be worth a punt. Just check they’re not secret United fans – it could turn messy.
Is there anywhere worse than City that he could end up? Of course there is – Liverpool Football Club. Sadly, they don’t have the finance or success that young Wayne requires.