Punters choice: Betting heartbreak eased by gashback points

Punters choice: Plaice your bets for gashback points
Plaice your bets for gashback points
I earned some gash back this week after racking up some loyalty points by taking the other half out for dinner (gash back points are redeemed at the ‘fish counter’ by the way). This was about all I earned in a week of heartbreak. Yep, if I was Elvis (strangely, my cat is) I would be living in Heartbreak Hotel on a permanent basis, it’s down at the end of Lonely Street – in case you need directions.

Let’s go through it: The Memorial was very unmemorable, Akdarena was unlucky in the Oaks (if you can call losing unlucky), Bullet Train was derailed in the Derby, Morgan knocked up a fruitless score in a Test match that annoyingly brought Bell back into the fold, Youmzain just missed out on a place (although you can get plaice at the ‘fish counter’ ), Heskey was incredibly picked for the final England squad and then he goes and stamps on Ferdinand and on top of all this I lost £800 at the blackjack table.

At least Rhys picked up some each-way money for me in Wales. Once upon a time gamblers used to prosper, back in the good old days, the days when men wore hats, pubs were pubs, betting shops had board markers and you could smoke on the tube. Ah, good times. This week, I have a plan. The World Cup is going to come to my rescue for a whole month, but there are also some juicy titbits to chew on along the way. This week, I have a plan.

Monday
Had a chap round to fix my back window (phnaar, phnaar). The sash had gone months ago and in these sunnier times a man needs his back window open. So, my morning was spent tea making. After he had gone, I experimented with the window first being open and then being closed. Cool. I sat down put together a few doubles at Chepstow and Goodwood and looked forward to an afternoon of breeze and winners. A breeze up, if you will. Lots of losers later I called it a day and went down the pub.

Tuesday
Got myself into positions on Choi, Watney, Donaldson and Davies on both sides of the Atlantic on the exchanges and then went looking for some further World Cup options. Interesting differences of opinions on the World Cup winner/Top Goalscorer double market. Holland and Van Persie are 66/1 with Blue Square and 25/1 with Paddy Power. I’ll have some of that. You can get 100/1 about Brazil and Robinho with Sky Bet and yet only 40/1 with Sportingbet. I might start peppering these markets, at least it will give me something to do. Oooh, England and Van Persie 175/1, I could spend all day on this. Out for a few pints in London Bridge in the evening and finish off with a curry. Choice.

Wednesday
A day of work. Very annoying. How do normal people do this all the time? I had an inspired thought at lunch and booked a table for me and the other half at a swanky restaurant in town. A beautiful evening of fine food and great wine. Gashback points in the bag. Went home and redeemed them.

Thursday
Another day of meetings. At least Davies seems to be going okay in Wales. I get involved with the racing at Lingfield and manage to get a 12/1 winner in the second. Head off to a casino in Leicester Square in the evening. Have an argument with a Chinese man at the roulette table and decide the future is in blackjack. Back home skint and hungry a couple of hours later.

Friday
Wake up with a headache and an empty wallet. Have to head into London for work. God. Luckily I have an evening with mates in Covent Garden involving dancing and shots with Tabasco sauce. This is the life. Davies shoots low again. Choi is in contention. Watney and Donaldson can go fuck themselves.

Saturday
A pub crawl of Greenwich, followed by a pub crawl of Blackheath. An evening watching Fowler pull further away in the Memorial (I used to like him). Siem is leading in Wales. I have flashbacks to old bets. I cry. I drink. I sleep.

Sunday
Hangover followed by breakfast and an afternoon in the pub watching the end of the Wales Open. Come on Rhys. That’s it. I head home and plan future events.
Get involved in those World Cup doubles, don’t let me say I told you so.

Also this week: Garrido, Lima and Rock at Estoril and Molder, Jacobson and Brian Gay in Memphis. There’s an Elvis link here somewhere.

Running total after Week 19 (-£1,000): £1,365

Antepost Bets
Football
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1
Anelka – Top World Cup Scorer 80/1
Spain – World Cup 9/2
Brazil – World Cup 5/1
Ivory Coast – World Cup 33/1
Drogba – Top World Cup Scorer 40/1
Kaka – Top World Cup Scorer 40/1
Lampard – Top World Cup Scorer 100/1
Holland and Van Persie World Cup double – 66/1
Spain and Villa World Cup double – 18/1
England and Van Persie World Cup double – 175/1

Horse Racing
Kieron Fallon – Jockey Championship 7/2
Rite of Passage – Ascot Gold Cup 25/1