Nothing builds up the excitement for the NFL season and the NFL betting season like a good draft party. Of course, in the spirit of this year’s draft it would have to be a three day long sexy, bingefest reckless affair. What would you do if you could throw the most baller NFL draft party? They should make that a contest, so I could find a way to rig it and win it, because if I had to throw the most authentic and craziest NFL three day draft party, here’s how I’d get down.
First you have to invite all of the fanatics just to make sure the NFL is well represented. Steeler Fan, Raider Fan, Bear Fan all of them, and then grab a shitload of kegs. Bill Fan will help you with those, he’s used to drowning his sorrows by the keg full.And then I’d spring for the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. But in interest of fairness, we can throw in some cheer girls from other teams too. But day one is all business. Everybody has to check their prop bets and make new ones as so many prospects dance around in the pecking order. Read more.
But who said you can’t mix business with pleasure? In the spirit of the NFL I figure I might as well turn the place into a strip club, maybe a boat party and have some naked girls laying around ready to do whatever in between rounds. It has to be authentic NFL, so only D cups or bigger, sorry no exceptions. What else? It would have to be a bring your own gun affair, that’s obvious, except if Buress shows up, he’ll have to check his at the door.
After a night of drunk driving with hookers and a few keys of Mexican bam bam in the trunk, I figure after the rooster fights, we’d start the afternoon off with some dogfighting until happy hour, catch some more of the draft and top of the night shooting off guns indoors and making it rain on strippers. We’ll have to make sure the hookers are well marked just in case you know who, Mr. touchy feely Steeler QB shows up, wouldn’t want to make a mistake and grope some college chick.
I figure the party crowd will be pretty worn out from the first two days of sex fun. No problem there’s plenty of “pick me up dust” on some nice racks to be had. Then it’s time to tap the keg and watch the end of the draft, which by this time may have already changed the entire league. Our sloppy drunk minds at this point may be subjected to trades and other wheelings and dealings that we could have never expected. It’s looking like one of those drafts, one of those drafts where in between the first round and the second round it’s frantic and calculated dealings. Not that we’d care too much at that point, we’d be too busy trying to pull the bullet out of Buress’s foot and pulling “I Want To Party Now” Ben off Ravens Fan’s girlfriend.
Why’d you bring your slut girlfriend dude?