The Secret Coach: Premier League half-term report (part one)

The secret coach

It’s been a very busy first third of the season in the English Premier League, but how has each team done? We spoke to The Secret Coach to get the lowdown on the teams in the bottom half of the table in part one of our Premier League End of Year report. Last week, The Secret Coach was all about the positivity of time off and rest periods. This week, there’s no letting up.

The Secret Coach is a professional football coach in English football… who will remain anonymous. The Secret Coach has worked with some of the biggest names in the game, been through the coaching badges and is currently part of the coaching team at an English league side… and that’s all we’re telling you. As ever, this week, The Secret Coach pulls no punches! 

Sheffield United: “Unfortunately, Chris Wilder’s team haven’t evolved or really strengthened this year,” says TSC. “They were a surprise package last season but now everyone knows what to expect and Wilder has not adapted. He lacks firepower to keep them up, which is a shame as they’re such a hard-working team.” 

West Bromwich Albion: “The Baggies of old; some nice football at times but that doesn’t guarantee you a place in the Premier League although that might change under Sam Allardyce! I remember the Mowbray years, when they played some lovely football but went toe to toe with better teams – admirable but not sensible. Same again I feel so far, not enough to compete with the mid-table teams.” 

Fulham: “I want Parker to do well, there are not enough young British managers and the Cottagers have a chance, but again a lack of experience may let them down. They appear to have no plan B when playing better opposition or when Plan A isn’t working. They’re punching above their weight so far, but if they gel like there have been glimpses that they can, then maybe just maybe they’ll escape the drop.” 

Burnley: Sean Dyche’s team are stubbon as mules as always. Hard to beat and experienced, but this year I fear that chances created and not taken might cost them. That said, they are showing they are still difficult to beat and they will work hard too.” 

Brighton: Good set up, good young manager, playing some nice stuff, however… draws and single points are not going to be good enough. They need to find a way to win games or see them out as you can go unbeaten all season in the Premier League but score 38 points and still go down.” 

Arsenal: Glimpses of magic and quality football, but then it’s the more experienced players that are the problem. Arteta will outlast them and he will lose his patience in them as the youngsters have come in and done well. Too many big players on are on big money and not performing. I see Arteta getting it right and Arsenal to climb the table.” 

Leeds United: Exciting, explosive starters but erratic, it’s case of a win here and a loss there. It’s great to be free scoring and they’re dangerous for anyone to play against, but they look suspect at the back and I can’t see many clean sheets. That may drag them into a relegation dogfight if it’s not addressed.” 

Newcastle United: “Steve Bruce is reliable and knows what he’s doing, with some shrewd business in the transfer market. He has some strikers who can score, and I fancy some Callum Wilson goals to keep them hovering around the mid-table mark.” 

Crystal Palace: “Another team who play well on their day, but have an overreliance on one player in Wilfried Zaha. Ererechi Eze looks sharp, so could he fill Zaha’s boots? The Eagles are certainly going to cause some of the big teams some problems as the season goes on.” 

Aston Villa: “One of the surprise packages of the season so far. They were silently doing well at the end of last year but losing or getting a draw. Now they have been performing the same but made some good moves in the summer and with Ollie Watkins up front, I feel they will be easily mid-table if they continue as they have been. Win a few, lose a few but The Villains will pull off a shock or two as well.”

That’s the bottom half, but what of the top teams? Check out next week’s second part of the English Premier League End of Year report courtesy of The Secret Coach.