“Dead” man suspicions ring true for CalvinAyre.com reader

casino robber fakes own deathLoo Choon Beng should really have known that this day was coming. When he was accused of masterminding a plot to rob blind three casino business locations in the Philippines the man known as “Fatty Loo” was shit out of luck. The net was closing on the gang and then it happened. According to a friend he “died in his sleep or from one of a myriad of health problems that he suffered.”

This was not to be the last of the man affectionately known as “Fatty.” It could have been the nickname that was to blame for his downfall as a congresswoman has spotted the syndicate leader in the Cagayan Export Zone Authority. At this stage we can only speculate as to why he was out and about. The lure of the best churros that the Philippines has to offer must have been too much for him to handle.

A regular CalvinAyre.com reader suspected just as much as back in August when the first reports of Fatty Beng dying came up. “Achia” said: “Don’t trust the media reports so far. Unless you actually see Loo Choon Beng’s corpse you wouldn’t be sure. Knowing him since Raffles Institution days and university hostel Raffles Hall he can produce stunts.”

The case stretches back to May when Fatty and his three accomplices set about entering a casino and making special hand signals at each other. The PAGCOR officials just thought that the four guys were playing that game girls used to in the school playground. Much like us guys back in the day, the casino officials were utterly befuzzled by this and before they knew it 160million peso had disappeared.

Unsurprisingly casino officials are also being investigated and it has taken law enforcement agencies until now to think about reprimanding the piece of ass that Fatty calls his girlfriend. That’s the woman that works in the same casino selling cigarettes and candy. Did we tell you that these guys were good?!

Fatty obviously didn’t look through the explicit rules on how to fake your own death. Dying of a very unsuspicious death is not creative enough. Natural causes is never going to rank up there with likes of a kidnapping followed by a beheading or “forgetting” your harness when “jumping” from a rather high bridge. Poor Fatty’s attempt at faking his own death was so bad that he didn’t even attempt changing his appearance or identity. Maybe they’ll even make a film about this episode one day. Not so much “Catch Me If You Can.” More “Was there ever even a chase?”