Magic man makes a drunken mistake

Bob Vander Weide

Bob Vander WeideWith Office Xmas Party season in full swing people are making drunken buffoons out of themselves left right and centre. Fumble in the boardroom here, quick tea-bagging of the photocopier there and if you’re really ambitious try getting everyone to start singing a rhyme telling your boss how much of a w*nker he is. The NBA Office Christmas party was cancelled after the league hammered out a deal to start the league up on Christmas Day. Bob Vander Weide (BVW) didn’t get the memo.

The Orlando Magic CEO reportedly got a bit worse for wear after “playing paddle with friends” and was merely doing star center Dwight Howard the courtesy of returning his missed calls. His retirement on Wednesday begs to differ.

The fact Howard is out of contract next summer and likely to become a free agent meant the franchise were in a quandary. That’s when BVW stepped forward to save the day, begging Howard to stay on whilst slurring like a champ. The old adage that your true feelings come out when drunk couldn’t be more apt.

BVW admitted: “Maybe Dwight thought it was inappropriate to talk business after a couple of glasses of wine… Maybe I should have waited until the morning,” before cracking open a magnum of vodka and stating: “We like each other. We even love each other as people. He’s always reached out to me. That phone call has not changed his feeling about this organization”

Howard is yet to comment on the man crush and by retiring there’s more chance that the star man will end up staying. That wasn’t all the NBA news as Dan Gilbert attempted to upstage Vander Weide

The Cavaliers owner, likely still smarting from Lebron James destroying his championship tem, sent an email to the league commissioner David Stern bemoaning a proposed trade that would send Chris Paul to the LA Lakers and branding it a “travesty.” The full message read as follows:

Commissioner,

It would be a travesty to allow the Lakers to acquire Chris Paul in the apparent trade being discussed.

This trade should go to a vote of the 29 owners of the Hornets.

Over the next three seasons this deal would save the Lakers approximately $20 million in salaries and approximately $21 million in luxury taxes. That $21 million goes to non-taxpaying teams and to fund revenue sharing.

I cannot remember ever seeing a trade where a team got by far the best player in the trade and saved over $40 million in the process. And it doesn’t appear that they would give up any draft picks, which might allow to later make a trade for Dwight Howard. (They would also get a large trade exception that would help them improve their team and/or eventually trade for Howard.) When the Lakers got Pau Gasol (at the time considered an extremely lopsided trade) they took on tens of millions in additional salary and luxury tax and they gave up a number of prospects (one in Marc Gasol who may become a max-salary player).

I just don’t see how we can allow this trade to happen.

I know the vast majority of owners feel the same way that I do.

When will we just change the name of 25 of the 30 teams to the Washington Generals?

Please advise….

Dan G.

The Hornets are owned by the league and are obviously at the mercy of the other 29 teams. It sets a dangerous precedent as you have to wonder what will happen if the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics or any other team try to trade for the Hornets number one man. Was Mr Stern playing paddle with Vander Weide or something because this situation is some mess that it would be believable that a drunk man caused it!