Bidding processes for world sporting events are riddled with the amounts of tension and corruption that you would expect to find in a Hollywood blockbuster. Amongst all the bidding parties for 2018 are some of the world’s most powerful countries but even they are scared witless at the uncertainties regarding who each country will end up voting for.
England have sent over the dream team of David Cameron, Prince William and David Beckham complete with matching spandex super hero outfits in the hope that they can persuade delegates that they deserve to host the World Cup. Meanwhile, Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin doesn’t seem that bothered at all. Maybe he’s just enjoying a hilarious vodka fuelled rave.
Holland and Belgium have made sure to ship over enough marijuana and waffles to go around the room ten times, whereas Spain and Portugal have made it perfectly clear who has the best weather by providing a sample of sun burnt British and German holiday makers.
Given that all the host nations have presented their cases as to why their country should host the World Cup, it’s very likely that they will have missed out some vital information. Lucky that we’re here to deliver it to FIFA ahead of tomorrow’s crucial vote. Our information might not be to the level of WikiLeaks but FIFA should take note of some of the fun that can be had in the bidding nations
England – well where do we start with the English. Even discounting the fact that it’s home to the centre of the iGaming universe, London, there’s much more to get excited about. The city probably has the most bookies per square mile and with the choice available; you’ll never be too far from somewhere to place a bet. You also have to consider the climate of the country that can change from day-to-day. Where else in the world can you expect to watch one game in 30-degree heat, the next day having to put up with a damp, dank evening’s proceedings? It’s bloody unique I tell ya! If all that isn’t enough, we had the Russians point out the most endearing feature; England’s binge drinking party culture!
Holland/Belgium – legal marijuana must have already entered the minds of the FIFA delegates when they were looking over the Dutch/Flemish bid. Not sure about much else apart from the fact that it’s fairly central in Europe and they know how to organize a good party. This might be why they’re the outsiders to host the jamboree…
Spain/Portugal – there’s only one distinguishing factor that the Spaniards should look to embellish – you can get punch drunk the night before, and then have a sleep in the afternoon, before an evening’s football. Whether these sleeping arrangements extend to the players is open to interpretation, but the hot weather is also a huge plus for this bid. Add to this the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo will be giving classes on how to pout and it’s a winning formula.
Russia – the size of the country is such that it presents the biggest area in which to partake in a whole lot of vodka “sampling.” With all the different regions in the country, it would be rude not to visit every province to see what they have on offer. It should also be noted that Russia is home to Vladimir Putin. Calvin can tell first hand that the Prime Minister knows how to throw quite the party and we’re sure if the World Cup arrived on their shores every attempt would be made to create a party atmosphere.
Check back for a look at the 2022 bidders in the near future but in the mean time, every man and his dog are offering odds on this, so go and bet!