It’s hard to deny that Germany’s got a pretty twisted fetish for violence – after all, it’s the country that invaded France one or ten times. Conversely, they’ve also got a reputation for being such tightasses that a piece of coal shoved where the sun don’t shine would turn into a diamond. By all appearances, it’s the latter tendency that won out when German broadcasters banned a recent internet gaming commercial for its “violent and upsetting content.”
In the commercial for PokerStars, a group of impossibly beautiful and ethnically diverse players shoot bullets and sultry glances across the table at each other while an English voiceover extols the virtues of loving one’s enemies.
The players demonstrate their boundless love for one another by throwing ninja stars into each other’s foreheads, slitting each other’s throats, lighting each other on fire, and – in the grand finale – getting shot down by machine gun fire from an incoming helicopter.
Sadistic old Germany is one of the fastest-growing markets for online poker in the world, so maybe the overcautious pussies in charge over there figured that the populace didn’t need any more encouragement when it comes to cold-blooded murder or gambling.