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Idiot wishes he were in Ocean’s Eleven

TAGs: daniel tzvetkoff, Ocean's Eleven

Vegas

Las Vegas at night, along with an example of what $50 million can buy

Daniel Tzvetkoff is looking a little less like George Clooney and a little more like George Costanza after having fessed up to American authorities that he stashed $50 million in laundered cash in Las Vegas.

The Australian demonstrated the real meaning of “down under” – his head, relative to his ass – when he was arrested on charges of money laundering related to online gambling. After cooling his heels in jail for a short time, Tzvetkoff couldn’t handle it anymore and revealed the location of the hidden dough. Jack Bauer this guy ain’t.

Instantly, now that the secret stash has been revealed, the saga has transformed from something resembling Ocean’s Eleven into something more like the considerably shittier Rat Race as online poker sites scramble for a chunk of the change.

Full Tilt Poker and other online poker sites claim thatTzvetkoff owes them a collective $60 million thanks to his role as an middleman for payment to U.S. poker players stopped by Uncle Sam from collecting their winnings above the table. Additionally, a member of the Aussie’s old posse has stuck him for a cool $100 million.

Ultimately, the authorities believe that Tzvetkoff has more secret accounts stashed away. For his sake, I hope they’re right, since otherwise the poor bastard’ll wind up eating shit out of the trash can for the rest of his life once the lawsuits against him have been settled.

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