The midweek round of European games only really taught us a few things. First off, we found out that Gareth Bale is the best left-sided person to land on planet earth. Then we learnt that Man City can now be dubbed a “crisis club” and Wayne Rooney is still on the sidelines doing what it is he does – looking after babies, eating a Big Mac and fries, and chatting up prostitutes. Who are we to say?
Thankfully the Premier League returns this weekend with another round of games that will assess when, not if, Chelsea will properly pull away. Liverpool will be their theatre this week, Carlo Ancelotti attempting to keep a run going that has yielded only one loss all season. The notorious atmosphere will attempt to suck the ball into whichever net the hosts are attacking, so Ancelotti will have to be wary.
Elsewhere their closest challengers Arsenal play host to Newcastle in a game they will be wary about. It’s not every week that you get to face off with the cast from the upcoming ITV docu-soap Premier Convicts is it?
The other side in the big four, Manchester United, welcomes the band of howling wildebeest that are known as Wolves to the Theatre of Dreams as they attempt to regain the title they lost a year ago.