Spurs visit Euro burlesque house

Redknapp SpursHarry, if you’ve quite finished rubbishing Manchester City’s chances this season your boys have got a game tonight! I know it’s fun laughing at all the money they’ve spent on a bunch of players you couldn’t possibly have at your own club as they’ve never played for you before but it’s time for business.

Anyway while ‘arry steadies himself ahead of one of the biggest competitions on the European sports calendar, it will be interesting to see what approach Tottenham take when trotting out against the mish-mash of adolescents that will be standing before them – BSC Young Boys Berne.

Tottenham finally broke the monopoly on the top four for the first time in around five seasons, but the notorious banana skin of a qualifier, which caught out Everton last time, is in their way. However, unlike David Moyes back in 2005, Redknapp has already been presented with a veritable banquet of excuses to put forward should his side slip up in Switzerland – and it could quite literally be that.

Whenever an English side have to go abroad to a ‘backwater’ of European football you can bet your bottom dollar that the first thing they go for is the pitch, and surprise, surprise there’s the first excuse – it’s made of bloody plastic.

THE seat
Well that’s what they’d like us to think, but it’s an artificial pitch so it will be castigated. Redknapp has already told captain Ledley King to forget it, and he can only hope and pray for more injuries in order to excuse the lacklustre performance that his charges could well put in on a pitch they’d like to make you think ain’t fit to graze calves on – it’s because it’s not real grass!

Dig deeper though and you find there’s even more of a distraction than the pitch, and it comes in the stand. When the newly built Stade de Suisse Wankdorf (lol) Stadium was ready to have seats installed the first one to be put in was red. The special seat is never sold to members of the general public and was originally reserved for famous supporters of Young Boys – does that not sound the slightest bit dodgy?

They then presumably ran out of this plethora of famous followers and now give new fans of the team a chance to sit there, and during the game they’re sometimes treated to a lap dance. So lets get this right. New supporters coming to watch Young Boys are sometimes indulged with a lap dance. Now ‘arry, if you’re really looking for something to complain about should you lose, then maybe this is it?

Whatever happens in the Wankdorf Stadium tonight we should finally be able to see the demise of Wilson Palacios’ Champions League career. You cant imagine that continental referees are going to agree with his smash-mouth midfield approach, so expect to see him departing the pitch fairly shortly after kick off, to witness the inevitable 1-1 draw from the comfort of the dressing room.