Man, sometimes I wish I was back in college…The parties, the girls next door ready for a night cap and a smoke at the click of a mouse button on msn messenger, remember those days? I remember sleeping in, hungover, missing morning classes, I remember going in for ‘extra’ help from that hot emo Communications TA…”the enlightenment period fascinates me” ahh, those were the days. What I don’t remember is being able to bet on my grades, not that they were great, but they could have been if I had money riding on it.
Betting on your college grades is exactly what a new website called Ultrinsic is now offering students. If this website was around when I was in school, maybe I would have spent a little less time getting drunk and playing strip poker with the volleyball girls next door and a little more time trying to put my head in the books and less time trying to put my head between boobies. Is motorboating a skill game?
Ultrinsic will be taking wagers from 36 colleges around the US this month, and for those students on academic probation, you can even wager that you’ll fail a class by buying what Ultrinsic calls “grade insurance”. Read more.
Right about now, you must be thinking this is a pretty good idea for a website, I know I am, but I’m wondering, how the hell is this not online gambling which is illegal in the US? Ultrinsic website CEO Steven Wolf maintains that it isn’t online gambling because wagers with Ultrinsic involve skill. I’d like to dispute that, but it sounds fairly legit. It sounds as legitimate as the arguement for online poker actually. When you think of the many students who will love to gamble on themselves and their brains, this website should do pretty damn well.
I don’t see why Ultrinsic should stop at grades. Why not allow wagers on how much tail a guy can get in his freshman year. All he has to do is send in pictures of himself and the girls he’s trying to score with and let the oddsmakers do their thing. Hookers don’t count, obviously. Of course, for verification purposes, the actual sealing of the deal would have to be on film of the sex tape variety, another major bonus. And wouldn’t that also be classified as skill? No? What about wagers on how much weight students will gain in their freshman year? Ever heard of the freshman 40? Well, imagine if you could wager on who is likely to turn into fat Albert by the end of their freshman year, I know I’d make a killing. You always pick that thick chick who looks like she’s already one or two Big Macs away from being fat.
Jokes aside, what Ultrinsic has done is open the door to a host of wagering options outside of the norm. By offering odds on a student’s grades, Ultrinsic is taking advantage of the skill aspect of wagering and make no mistake, it sure as fuck is online gambling, just not by the US government’s standards.
What kinds of wagers can you think of outside the norm that involve skill?