Strangely, as I should have worked out by now, things just don’t pan out the way they are supposed to. After having a Mexico/France double on the first day I realise that these international players ain’t what they ought to be. So, the first day of proper drink/football/snack planning comes on the Saturday. It is going to be a beautiful, sunny, successful, drunken day. The sweet taste of excess waits. An afternoon with Messi and his chaps that like wearing chaps followed by an emphatic England victory that will bring a smile to everyone’s faces, kick start the economy and produce the fat, ugly Northern baby boom this country is crying out for.
So, Messi to score at any time, Lampard to score at any time, England/Argentina double, England/Argentina/South Korea treble, Rooney to score with a header, England to win half time and full time and England to win to nil – I have it all ready. Even now as I look back on those bets I can’t work out where it all went wrong. I’d place those bets again, if I could turn back time. If I could find a way.
So, to catch up on last week – it wasn’t great. But this week should be simpler. I have a dead cert for the US Open, an ante-post beauty for the Gold Cup and a great first goalscorer bet for the Algeria match. Nailed.
Monday
A quiet day leading up to an evening at Royal Windsor. An enjoyable evening of lager, humidity and some decent place picks. A 16/1 second in the first, 8/1 in the third, 8/1 in the fourth and a 20/1 in the last. Enough to turn a profit and to allow further drinking to continue once the safety of London had been reached. Managed to keep it going until quite late and crawled into bed between the wife and the cat at just after 4. I thank you.
Tuesday
Woke up with a dry mouth and a wet eye. Realised it was a combination of loss of spittle through excessive dribbling which in turn pooled around my eye socket. Actually, it was quite a comforting way to sleep, a bit like my eye being returned to the womb. Anyway, after a kick start from my ground coffee beans, I clicked straight into the golf markets to see what is available… strangely Molder was missing from the St Jude outright market. I decided to add more to young Gay and Jacobson and then got involved with Villegas and Ames. Stuck to my guns with Rock, Garrido and Lima in Portugal.
Spent an evening at a pub casino. Essentially, a charity casino that doesn’t allow you to win cash. “What’s the point of this?” I kept asking people. “It’s for charity,” they kept replying. “Yes, but what’s the point of this?” I walked home carrying six bottles of cheap wine and tickets for a meal in a local restaurant. Only cost me £200.
Wednesday
A day of work. Stupid work. Although the evening was spent digesting curry and lager. Got home to check my golf bets had been matched and had some more World Cup outright interest. I am now covering Spain, Brazil and Holland to win the tournament. I can’t go wrong. Can I?
Thursday
Decided to head to Newbury for the racing, as I suspect the World Cup will curb my racing enthusiasm for the next month. Great course, great lager, great people. I can’t believe I don’t go there more often. Ryan Moore picked up a four timer – he is class. I picked up a few quid. Head back home to watch the PGA Tour on telly.
Well here we are. It begins. Quite an interesting opener, although those bloody bee horns are going to get on my fucking tits. Double goes down. I get drunk. Look forward to England’s giant entrance on to the world stage tomorrow. Dunkirk. Pubs. Lager. Morris dancers.
Saturday
the day of reckoning. I get a little more drunk than expected leading up to kick-off. Bets are on. I’m home in bed by 11, still trying to work out why this always happens. At least Robert Rock is going well. At least Rite of Passage has been confirmed for the Gold Cup, so I have some more at 18/1.
Sunday
Spend the day watching my golf bets and my football bets go the wrong way. Time to get some more ante-post sorted.
Four for the US Open – Dustin Johnson 40/1 – course specialist and still got the bit between his teeth. Nick Watney 66/1 – although he hasn’t played well for a few weeks, Pebble Beach should suit him. Stephen Ames 150/1 – great each-way value on the Canaditrinidadian?) and finally Tim Clark 66/1 – he has been getting better and better and this could well be his year.
Running total after Week 20 (-£350): £1,015
Football
John Terry – First goalscorer England v Algeria 22/1
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1
Anelka – Top World Cup Scorer 80/1
Spain – World Cup 9/2
Brazil – World Cup 5/1
Holland – World Cup 10/1
Ivory Coast – World Cup 33/1
Drogba – Top World Cup Scorer 40/1
Kaka – Top World Cup Scorer 40/1
Lampard – Top World Cup Scorer 100/1
Holland and Van Persie World Cup double – 66/1
Spain and Villa World Cup double – 18/1
England and Van Persie World Cup double – 175/1
Horse Racing
Kieron Fallon – Jockey Championship 7/2
Rite of Passage – Ascot Gold Cup 25/1
Golf
Dustin Johnson – US Open 40/1
Tim Clark – US Open 66/1
Nick Watney – US Open 66/1
Stephen Ames – US Open 150/1
