SPORTS

Professional Sex

TAGs: Ben Roethlisberger, Professional Sex

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It wasn’t too long ago that Ben Roethlisberger was making headlines for allegedly raping a 31 year old woman at a Lake Tahoe Hotel Casino. Turns out he didn’t rape her, he just shagged her silly. Now it’s de ja vu all over again for Big Ben. Read more.

I for one am a little disappointed in the Steeler’s QB. As a superbowl winning QB, shouldn’t he be making better reads than that? While it remains to be seen on whether he actually is guilty as charged, he does deserve some sort of punishment for having this happen to him twice. I can’t blame the guy for partying, I can’t even blame him for drinking too much, but at least get one of your buddies in on the gang bang so you have witnesses man. No? Okay, well, at least realize that like so many athletes before you, you can’t just have sex with a regular chick. You need professional sex.

So many pros have been accused and very few have actually been convicted of sexual assault. NFL cats and NBA basketball players get sexual assault charges almost as if they’re trying to draw charges for offensive fouls, except, the foul is usually on them. Case in point, Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant made that mistake once, and I’ll bet the farm he’ll never be in that position ever again. Why? Because as a professional athlete you’re supposed to learn from that near career smearing incident. Pretty much everytime a high profile professional athlete has sex with a regular girl, I’m going to estimate that there’s an 80% chance he’ll either be charged for sexual assault, the girl will go public with it, or she’ll become pregnant. That’s just the way it goes. That’s why most of these guys get professional sex. I’m not talking skeezy hookers off the street, I’m talking those high class crosses between call girls and business women, I’m talking, professional sex baby, the safest sex money can buy.

Pro’s should nail pro’s. In sport, a pro can’t dip down and play with the amateurs, they’re not on the same level. Should sex be any different? Professional sex is discrete, the athlete doesn’t have to worry about ending up on facebook or TMZ or Youtube with his balls out, that’s all taken care of. Better yet, the athlete doesn’t have to worry about getting too drunk to remember what happened, there will be no charges filed the next morning, just a bill. The athlete doesn’t have to worry about phone calls or text messages that can be intercepted by a significant other, no hangups, no stalkers, no feelings hurt, it’s just business and strictly professional sex.

You have to wonder why then, any athlete would subject himself or herself to the dangers of fucking a commoner. There’s only one reason I can think of other than being too drunk to make the right call. I wonder if sometimes, they feel like, they want to test if they still got it. When you have all the money and star power in the world it’s not exactly a challenge to get some tail. Even though that tail could be the most costly piece of ass, you gotta wonder if sometimes it just feels good for these guys to not have to reach for their pocket book right after sexing down a regular girl, an amateur if you will.

The irony of it is, more often than not, they’ll be reaching for that pocket book along with their publicists number if they don’t opt for the pro girl sex.

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