SPORTS

How to identify a problem gambler: he bets on curling

TAGs: curlings, Hurry Hard Condoms, USA curling

OlyCurlingWhile this site is down with the notion of betting on pretty much anything, we’re utterly flummoxed by how anyone could get excited over betting on Ice Shuffleboard, er, Olympic Curling. Even leaving aside the whole ‘dudes with brooms’ yelling “Hurry! Hard!” aspect, in purely dramatic terms, Frozen Bowling ranks right up there with Olympic Paint Drying or Olympic Chartered Accountancy.

You hear a lot of comments about how ‘hot’ some of curling’s competitors are, but let’s face it, much of that is due to the fact that none of them are expending enough energy to work up sufficient sweat to cause their mascara to run. (This is an issue for the female competitors, as well.) Plus, we tend to give even the average looking ones a little extra credit because we’re SO FUCKING BORED by the actual competition that we’re desperate to find something – anything – else on which to focus.

To sum up, we’re awfully glad that USA Curling saw fit to promote their sport via their Hurry Hard Condoms. While we applaud anything that aims to decrease the spread of HIV, the idea that it might also reduce the number of offspring produced by curling fans is just a bonus. Read more.

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