Do you believe in second chances?
Do you seek forgiveness, or do you fish in grudge harbor?
The answer to these questions will probably determine whether or not you are a fan of Dutch Boyd. The founder member of The Crew has made some mistakes in his life. Haven’t we all?But when you make them under the glare of the spotlight, they feel a little hotter.
32 final tables have come and gone in the 45th Annual World Series of Poker (WSOP), and if I am being honest, apart from Davidi Kitai, Dominik Nitsche and Vanessa Selbst, I haven’t really given a flying fuck about any of them.
Until yesterday.
Dutch Boyd was all-in, and at risk, against Paul Cogliano with only three players left in Event #33: $1,000 No-Limit Hold’em. It was looking glum for the balding Boyd. His [As] [7d] was just about to get its head kicked in by [Ac] [Kh], until a [7c] hit the river like a kick in the balls.
I jumped. I fist pumped. I got excited for the very first time.
Kitai, Nitsche and Selbst?
They were always going to win.
But Boyd?
Despite being the best player of the three, there was an air of underdog about the situation. Perhaps, it was because I had just finished reading his book, and felt like I had lived every moment of his life with him.
Who knows?
Who the fuck cares.
I wanted him to win, and win he did.
Before I met Boyd for the first time I had read his crime sheet. I knew the allegations. I knew a lot of people thought he was a con artist.
That’s not what I saw when I met him. I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity and gratitude. This was not the mural I had seen painted all over 2+2.
Then I read that great book.
My initial thin slicing of the man was proven.
He was just like the rest of us. A man faced with choices. A man who made some wrong ones and some right ones. A man not allowed to forget his wrong ones.
What drew me to him was his ability to acknowledge his mistakes, and to own up to them. Poker Tilt is a lot of things. It is a memoir, it is one hell of a ride, but it is also an apology to everyone who lost some blood over the demise of PokerSpot.
I admire him for that.
You never know a man until you have spent time with the man. Even then you don’t truly know what’s going on inside that mind of theirs. So how can you think you know someone after reading a 2+2 post, or the wonderful art you see in the toilet stall scribed with shit?
You can’t.
But this book is his mind.
He has emptied everything into it, but the darkest of secrets.
You know the ones I speak of.
We all own our own.
The written word spreads like syphilis in an army camp in the 1500s. If you do something right then Scooby Dooby Doo, and if you do something wrong then fuck you too.
People hide behind their laptops. Every now and then they dare to lift their head above the parapet. They sling some shit, and then…poof…they are gone again.
Show me a person who has never screwed up and I will show you a lying bastard. Dutch Boyd made some mistakes. He screwed up. And each mistake he made contributed to his growth. Without those screw ups he would never have won three WSOP bracelets, and he would never have written a book that could become the next Rounders.
His story touches my heart because as a writer I understand how he feels.
Each article I write allows the shit to be slung, and slung it will be. I too make mistakes. It’s how I grow as a writer. Only last week I really upset a prominent member of the poker community for making a choice that he would rather I didn’t make.
How did I react?
I listened.
I pondered.
I reflected.
I sought advice.
I apologised.
I learned.
I moved on.
There is a part in the book where Boyd takes advice and decides to leave the mess of PokerSpot in the past. It’s the process of forgiveness. It’s what makes us human.
Does it mean he doesn’t care?
What do you think?
