As is tradition, millions of Americans will be clustered around their televisions this Sunday evening to appreciate the creative genius of America’s modern day Mad Men. Companies have paid ad agencies millions of dollars to produce 30-second spots that these same companies will then pay TV networks millions more dollars to air (or not). The hype surrounding this phenomenon has reached the point that many viewers will likely find those other, longer commercials – you know, the ones in which all the stocky guys wearing two sets of matching outfits chase a ball around a clearly fake green field – distracting.
Nowadays, there are even hour-long TV specials dedicated to past Super Bowl spots that attempt to put these commercials in historical context. Professorial types speak with clinical seriousness as they judge how successful these spots were in boosting a product or company’s awareness/sales, or even if these spots had some lasting sociological or cultural impact. But there’s one extremely memorable spot that has yet to receive the same level of critical study.
For the record, that would be the 37-second clip of hardcore pornography that suddenly appeared on the TV’s of Comcast subscribers in Tucson, Arizona during the 2009 Super Bowl. In a suspiciously synergistic bit of timing, Tucson police and the FBI have just arrested 38-year-old Frank Tanori Gonzalez on suspicion of fraud and computer tampering. Gonzalez, a former Cox Cable employee, is the suspected mastermind behind the insertion (pardon the pun) of the video segment featuring porn stars Evan Stone and Tristan Kingsley.
If we were Gonzalez (or his attorney), we’d point out that the porn clip was broadcast immediately following an Arizona touchdown, so, technically, it could be construed as a video replay of someone scoring. (Think of it as the ‘reverse cowgirl’ angle.) Comcast will likely not appreciate the finer distinctions we’re making here, as they already paid out $800k in credits to their supposedly shocked subscribers. Frankly, we’re more interested in whether anyone’s done a followup study of female sexual behavior in the Tucson area. Have they all become total horndogs, throwing themselves at pizza delivery guys without the slightest provocation? Seriously, science… Don’t let us down on this one.
