Paris Hilton drugs let-off is not just pot luck

Dan Taylor
July 4, 2010
4 Comments

Memorable trip in Pot Elizabeth?

What is it about being rich that enables you to get away with shit? We all know what happened with OJ Simpson. Since then celebrities from R. Kelly to Michael Jackson, Heather Locklear to Charlie Sheen have been cleared of the sort of charges for which most people would get banged up for years.

More recently, Lindsay Lohan has been avoiding court appearances, escaping drugs possession charges and cleaning out the boutiques of Beverly Hills quicker than you can say Winona Ryder – and this weekend it was Paris Hilton’s turn.

The notorious socialite was arrested in Port Elizabeth after the fuzz found marijuana in her handbag after the Brazil v Holland match. Now I’m not saying that having a bit of Mary Jane is a serious crime. In fact, the fact that it is considered a serious crime is more of a serious crime in my book – especially in fucking South Africa, where the old bill should have better things to do than do people for getting high in their spare time when there are more people getting raped and murdered there pretty much anywhere else on the planet.

And what the men in uniform were doing rummaging around in Hilton’s handbag anyway? Were they looking for her accreditation, her Chihuahua, her personal video camera? Perhaps they just wanted to cuff her. Who wouldn’t?

Clearly, the authorities are trying to give the impression that they are not to be trifled with; they are trying to send out a zero tolerance message. This is why the England fan who stumbled into the players’ dressing room after the Algeria match, was threatened with a garotting for taking the wrong turn.

In the end he was quietly let off with a slap on the wrist and a fine. Hilton got similar treatment, although you’d like to think she got a slap somewhere else. In her case, the reason she got off is because she came up with the oldest trick in the book – it wasn’t me. In other wirds, she has the financial means to buy her way out of any problem –‘Diplomatic Immunidee’, as Joss Ackland says in Lethal Weapon 2.

Then again, perhaps Hilton was forced to swallow her pride – or indeed something else. Maybe she had to resort to doing what she does best. Perhaps in a few months’ time sex tape No3 will make an appearance. One Night In Port Elizabeth is surely coming soon, so to speak, to a free online porn site near you.

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