Spice up the World Cup with WAGs and foxy foreigners

If we’re being honest the World Cup has so far struggled to properly find its mojo. Hardly any goals, defensive tactics and the weather have certainly not helped, but the main reason it’s been disappointing so far is obvious. There has been no attention paid to the World Cup WAGs.

Once upon a time the TV cameras would pan across to the hottest girls in the crowd whenever there was a break in play – and even when there wasn’t – or the paperazzi would stalk England’s wives and girlfriends as they went out on the lash, but nowadays you’re lucky if you get a five-second shot of a drenched Mexican dwarf in a sombrero and poncho.

Fortunately, Paddy Power has fulfilled its half of the bargain by laying odds on these WAG categories: best legs, grumpiest, sexiest , best smile, most stylish. But its efforts will be futile if the TV companies don’t step up to the plate. They have got to raise their game by devoting more time to Wag Watch.

I know the BBC have license fee payers to contend with and a highbrow reputation to preserve but for starters they could at least spend less time talking to Emmanuel Adebayor, unless they provide subtitles whenever he opens his mouth, and more time sending the roving reporters out to interview the eyecandy. Or even a few innocent camera close-ups. Instead we are subjected to features about Soweto or the struggle of Robben Island’s former inmates, which is all well and good but for fuck’s sake lighten up everyone, the World Cup is supposed to be fun, isn’t it?

ITV have at least made some sort of effort with their Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush-style nightly offering, World Cup Live with James Corden. It’s a bit hit and miss but Corden’s a funny presenter and is doing his best to help the UK forget about how crap England are and the recession, and at least his show has had the good sense to make Peter Crouch’s other half Abbey Clancy a regular contributor. Admittedly, she does have the annoying habit of whooping a lot and gabbing off in Scouse but you wouldn’t want to curb her enthusiasm.

They could go further, though. The World Cup is supposed to be about a celebration of different cultures, the united colours of Benetton, the glorious contrast between dark-skinned Brazilian signoritas and the platinum blondes of Denmark bouncing together in the name of the beautful game. They missed a trick yesterday. Thirty-six female Holland fans were ejected from their side’s match against Denmark by FIFA for wearing orange mini-skirts to promote an unlicensed beer brand, called Bavaria. All ITV had to do was invite the girls into the studio, shame FIFA for being the ridiculous organization it is and get them involved in an impromptu boat race. That would have given an Oranjeboom to the ratings.

If you have any further information related to this story that you would like to share with us privately please click here.

Can't get enough CalvinAyre.com? Follow us on Twitter and Facebook, then you'll never miss out on the latest gaming industry news.