Eurovision Song Contest, betting with gay abandon

The Czech Republic may have been the place to be on Tuesday night but Saturday night will be party night in the UK. Well, it will be for that strand of the population that enjoys watching Pineapple Dance Studios, listening to Lady Gaga and playing Fruity Bingo. That’s right, the Eurovision Song Contest has sneaked up behind us like a Right Said Fred lookalike on Old Compton Street and pinched us on the arse cheek.

For the uninitiated, Eurovision is something the generations of the 1970s and 1980s grew up with as a must-see event. It was one of the biggest talking points of the year. In the UK, families nationwide would stay glued to their TV sets as bands like Abba, Buck’s Fizz and Brotherhood Of Man became household names overnight and went on to forge successful pop careers.

Of course not all bands proved quite as successful. In fact most of them, including the winners, were generally quite shocking. Indeed they still are – which is why the popularity of Eurovision has waned. The music moved on but the contest didn’t. The novelty of the format and the voting system, where countries that hated each other wouldn’t vote for each other, made the whole affair a bit of a laughing stock.

But then as the show morphed from serious national singing competition into car crash TV it earned itself a cult audience. For viewers of a particular, erm, bent, the camp costumes, dated acts and the utter lack of self-regard of the singers involved made the show a hit.

The BBC have recognised the pink pound demographic by recruiting gay funny man Graham Norton to host a show now adored by students, schoolgirls and gay men, who will be attending Eurovision parties throughout the UK and getting almost as pissed as the acts appear to be when embarrassing themselves on stage.

If you’re not going out, or to Oslo, on Saturday this is definitely a show worth watching, whatever your sexual persuasion. Failing that, the second semi-final tonight will give you a feel for just how hilariously bad it is. Tuesday’s semi had everything from a sexy Slovenian Euro-vision in knee-length boots, to an Icelandic female Mount Eyjafjoell equivalent to a Polish singer grabbing his female co-star in a headlock. As you do. The music was very poor but no less entertaining for it.

For those watching at home, you can bet on the outcome, which isn’t quite as political as it used to be, given that 50% of votes now come from viewers throughout Europe (who aren’t allowed to vote for their own country) rather than just the biased national juries, who get the other 50%.

The favourite to win at 5/4 with Bodog.com is Azerbaijan, represented by 17-year-old Safura Alizadeh, who will be singing the delightfully titled Drip Drop, the UK’s Josh Dubovie is a 40/1 shot and Cyprus, represented by Welshman Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders, are an 80/1 shot. Alternatively, you could always throw you’re own party. You just need a sweepstake kit, a bottle of poppers and an open mind.

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