Is this the horniest Canadian civil servant ever, or the hardest working?

Steven Stradbrooke
December 31, 2010
1 Comment

If Al Qaeda ever conducts a successful terror attack on Canadian soil, you can expect a certain Canadian Border Services Agency (CBSA) employee’s name to be made public. In the post-attack quest for a domestic scapegoat, there will be no easier mark than the (currently) unnamed employee at the CBSA’s national headquarters in Ottawa who spent five hours a day perusing pornographic personal ads on his office computer.

horniest-canadian-civil-servantAn Access to Information Act request by the Vancouver Sun discovered that the CBSA launched an investigation this past January, following a tipoff from a member of the public who noticed the aforementioned employee’s gov’t email address was being used to respond to online personal ads on Craigslist, Kijiji and other sites. A subsequent check on the employee’s email account revealed (pardon the pun) messages that included “detailed descriptions of himself, including his sexual organs” and “extremely explicit” pictures of same sent to interested parties.

Confronted by investigators, the six-year employee initially copped only to accessing the personal sites on his lunch-hours. Pressed further, the hairy-palmer admitted to spending three hours a day on the sites. When pointed out that web logs indicated the number of daily hours was closer to five, he said he “couldn’t argue” with the figure. (Know when to fold ‘em, guy.)

Without a hint of irony, the employee told investigators he was a ‘hard’ worker. And actually, we see little reason to doubt this claim. If you can spend over 60% of your work day surfing porn sites and none of your superiors notices any negative change in your work output until a member of the public finks on you, we say forget disciplinary action — make this guy Employee of the Month. Better yet, make him Prime Minister. Just think twice before you shake his hand.

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