How To Make Her Break up with You

There are just some relationships that just aren’t meant to last. They are always fun while they last, but once the thrill is gone, let’s face it, it’s time to move the fuck on. Unfortunately, in many instances, the situation is such that breaking up with HER is not an option. Whether it be a co-worker and you’re trying to avoid a messy situation, or it’s a close friend and breaking up with her means alienating yourself from the group and ending the friendship. Whatever the case, we know how it is and there’s ways to get the job done without going nutty Mel Gibson styles and threatening to bury her in the rose garden.

Here’s a how to list on “How to make her break up with you.” Keep in mind, this is a “how to list on how to make her break up with you”, not a how to list on “how to make her break up with you and not have the bridge burned to shreds”. That’s a different list, and there’s a big difference guys. Translation, using some of these tactics will mean you never knock boots with her ever again.

Let your personal hygiene break down- I know, drastic. But desperate times call for desperate measures gentlemen. And sometimes the best way to turn a girl off is a nice rank body odor.

Start chewing tobacco- Careful, some chicks dig it. But most don’t. Throw a wad of Skoal in that lip when she comes around and go for a kiss. Your breath will stink like dirt and most women think chewing tobacco is a disgusting habit. If every time she’s around you have a fat wad in your mouth and your spitting into a coke bottle, she’ll likely cut you off. If not, you might want to reconsider the whole thing, you might have keeper.

Expose your love of porn- I’m not just talking about regular porn love- I’m talking low down dirty fisting action, champagne shower type porn love and lot’s of it. Start passing up sex to say you’d rather watch snuff films and warning signs should start to fly on her end. Again, this should be bridge burner, but then again, and this can happen, you might uncover a dirty little girl. Also in this case a review of whether to part ways with a sex addict and dirty porn loving partner is in order. I’ll leave you to your own devices, it’s clear where I stand. KEEPER.

Never, ever, under any circumstance call or return calls, or texts or emails- If you ask any girl this is one of their pet peeves. For some reason it seems to cut to the very core of their anger, so be careful, you may face physical and verbal reprisal. Without a doubt, it’s the true coward’s way out, but it is a way out nonetheless. If you don’t respond to any of her contacts and when she tries to talk to you face to face, you always are busy or have somewhere else to be, she’ll get the message. She’ll cry it over with her friends, they’ll diss you and the wench of a mother that gave you life and then she’ll get her resolve and dump your ass. Again, this is a bridge burner.

Confess and lie about crimes you’ve committed- Saying that you’ve raped, murdered or are on the run for various criminal activities is a sure fire way to get a girl to dump you in many instances. Although, there are those trouble seeking girls that love the bad guy. Your story has to be believable, and the sick trick is to show no remorse for your actions. “Yeah, so I killed him. It was an accident, but he had it coming.” Talk like that should raise flags in her head. You have an issue if you hear a response like “He did having it coming, I’m proud of you baby”. That’s how you end up on contract to kill an ex-boyfriend. Run for the hills from this chick.

Call her a different stripper name every time you’re having sex- Again, I warn you, this can cause irreparable damage to the relationship and again, you put yourself at risk of physical attacks, and at the very least verbal ones. But calling your girlfriend Jane, Cindy, LaShanda, Candy, Misty, or any other stripper names you can think of in bed is great way to have her end the relationship.

Of course there’s many other ways and things a man can do make a woman break up with him. If you have some funny ideas or just some great ones, we’d love to hear them. Iron sharpens iron men.

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