3D Playboy spawns a glorious new era for porn

3D films are everywhere at the moment. After the success of Avatar it seems that every last moving picture from Clash of the Titans to Alice in Wonderland has been made in another dimension.

Personally, I don’t get it. Why the fuck would you want to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D? Come to think of it why would you want to see Alice in Wonderland, full stop? But if you ask me, a good film is a good film however many Ds it’s shown in, so you can’t pull the wool, or those silly dark glasses, over my eyes with this new ‘must see’ technology.

Of course, that said, I’ll make exception for porn. How can you not – you should always make exception for porn – and on this occasion Playboy have played a blinder by making the playmate of their forthcoming issue a 3D centre-fold. Imagine it, first you look at the page and all you can see is a blurry pixellated image; then you put on the shades and suddenly Miss June, aka the bodelicious Hope Dworaczyk, is quite literally jumping out of the page at you. Genius. I haven’t bought Playboy for years, but I might just endeavour to rediscover my youth and pop down to the newsagents and reach for the top shelf when nobody’s looking.

Inevitably, Paddy Power are offering odds on who will be the next 3D playmate – what don’t they offer odds on these days? – but my mind is already wandering towards the next inevitable step in this bongo revolution. Before you know it, 3D porn films will be upon us. Free internet porn will soon become Three (D) internet porn and we will all be glued to our laptops until kingdom (or money shot) come. Happy days…

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