Punters week: feeling rank after hustle draws a Blanc

Tim Richards
April 26, 2010
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After a few wines potting the red got confusing

After a few wines potting the red got confusing

Head pounds. Dog pounds. Five pounds. Ten pounds. I have a headache and it won’t go away. That’s what happens when a stupid bar only charges £7 for a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. There’s only one outcome. Head hurty.

The story of this day is all about a friend and his friends and the wonderful sport of cricket and football and pool. Essentially, they played crap cricket and me and a French bloke got pissed on cheap wine. We also kept one eye on the Chelsea match as they tried to post a cricket score and played pool for differing amounts of cash. After the third bottle the pool got a little complicated. But we battled on. By 6pm the French bloke owed me a couple of thousand, the rival cricket team had thrashed my mate’s team, Chelsea had won 7-0 and the wine was flowing. A perfect day by any type of measuring stick, ruler or piece of string.

Monday
A day of rest after a very hard week last week. I spend most of it lounging in front of the snooker, wondering if I should have some saver bets on Gould, Williams, Murphy and Robertson. I decide that Ding can beat all of these with one arm, so I stick with my Chinese cracker. And then order a Chinese and some crackers. And then I open some lager. Thanks to Google I discover that I was born in the Year of the Chicken.

Tuesday
The father in-law is coming to stay for the night. So, after a bit of cleaning I pop out and buy a few bottles of red. Red is a good diffuser of awkward situations. Later, after three bottles we are screaming at each other about politics and stuff. The diffuser didn’t work. Red whine…

Wednesday
The FIL has left and I can carry on with my normal busy schedule. I get the golf bets ready. Maybin, Ilonen, Rhys Davies and Donaldson in Europe. Chris Riley, Charlie Wi, Chopra and Ames in the US. Each-way doubles plus a host of peppering on the exchanges. This week is a definite. Spend the afternoon in the bookies doing dog/horse doubles. Win enough on my penultimate bet to fund a few lagers next door.

Thursday
An afternoon of drinking in the sort of sun leads to an evening of roulette in the West End. I lose £300, but at least I’m drunk. If you’re drunk you’re not a loser. That’s a famous saying that. The rain seems to have affected the ‘European’ golf over in Korea.

Friday
Decide to take in a bit of culture in the museums of London. I stop off in the aptly named Railway next to the station for a quickie before my train arrives. Eight hours later I’m back home pissed and in bed.

Saturday
Golf is going to pot, apart from Maybin and Davies. I spend the day watching racing, snooker, football and golf on the telly and punting on any available next market. Thank god for laptops, tellies and lager. Dott beats Maguire. I cry. Come on Ding. I drink some more lager.

Sunday
The day of the cricket match. Tis a drunken time. The double or quits on the £4k in the pool was in retrospect a stupid move. But, there is always the golf next week. Maybin will win. One day.

Running total after Week 13: £1,415

Ante-post portfolio:
The 80/1 Bwin are offering on Anelka to be top goalscorer in the World Cup is way out of line. I’m having some.

Horse Racing
Kieron Fallon – Jockey Championship 7/2
Elusive Pimpernel – 2000 Guineas 5/1
Co-ordinated Cut – The Derby 33/1

Football
Chelsea – Premier League 6/4
Barcelona – Champions League 3/1
Cardiff – Championship 25/1
Lionel Messi – Champions League Topscorer 9/1
Didier Drogba – Premier League Top Scorer 6/1
Torres – Top World Cup Scorer 12/1
Anelka – Top World Cup Scorer 80/1

Snooker
Ding Junhui – World Championship 12/1
Stephen Maguire – World Championship 14/1

For last week’s offering, click here.

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